I’ve a lot of ground to cover in this post but I’ll start with the title. Aaron who came with me to eat in this week’s restaurant said the titles cracked him up here on the blog and we had a good laugh at the Un – PC nature of them and came up with a few unprintable crackers while eating. So I gave him the chance to write this week’s title and after very slightly toning it down there you have it! Who knew writing titles could be so much fun. So I could have reviewed BEAR a few weeks ago but they were swimming in a sea of reviews so I decided to let it mature for a couple of weeks which is actually better as you never get a true reflection of a place on opening week anyway. Everybody is always on best behavior when they know the world is watching them.
I’ll start off by saying that I wanted to hate BEAR. I’d been away with mates in Berlin and watching rugby the debate got heated about Jamie Heaslip and how he’d gone from being the “best number 8 in the world” to a very average player. After much discussion we decided the loss in form was down to losing focus and slapping himself around the face with pieces of steak for his new restaurant. I’d also hated sister restaurant Skinflint and a foodie mate told me that BEAR was shite so I went in the doors ready to hate the place. Then I ended up eating there 3 times in 6 days…
First meal was on the way back from Berlin on a Sunday evening of a bank holiday weekend (always a lively night around town) and the place was buzzing with the exact mix of hipsters and pretty young things that I had expected. The menu offers a ton of steaks and the real beauty is that they are the types of steak that for some reason are no longer popular thanks to the ponciness (not sure that’s even a word?) that the Celtic tiger bred. Onglet, Rump and Pope’s Eye are just 3 of the more unusual cuts and the fact that many of them are cooked for 2/4 people is always a winner (more volume of meat to keep juicy). I grew up on steaks like this having a father who part owned a butchers on the continent where cuts like this are taken for granted but it’s taken a hipster joint and rugby player to bring them to our attention here in Ireland.
We ordered Onglet for 3 people with fries, sauces and a side order called “million dollar fries”. We had the first mouthful and I could see us all thinking “fucking Heaslip and his tough hipster steaks will never last” before the mood very drastically changed. It was absolutely fucking savage. I believe the word hipsters in Dublin use is Whopper (thanks Aaron). I’m talking melt in the mouth sex on a fork. Everybody just stopped talking and did nothing but eat for about 15 minutes with mmms and aahs coming from us all.
So we left with our tails between our legs and happy little campers. The review would have ended there but for the rest of the week I couldn’t get the taste of that steak and those million dollar fries (actually hundreds of thinly sliced potatoes on a cocktail stick deep fried) out of my head. It got so bad that on Friday night I caved and headed back with Aaron. We had another gorgeous meal and If I’m honest I just wanted to make sure that it wasn’t a fluke. Going back a third time was just ridiculous but when something is this good and the freaky March summer that we were experiencing might have messed with my senses. Funnily enough the third time I went my steak (rump) was paper thin and well done throughout without a drop of blood to be seen but I wasn’t even that annoyed. The flavor, chips, sauces, sunshine and the last week’s experiences meant I wolfed it down happy enough.
So three meals in a week says more than any words ever could. I was worried that the whole Crackbird buzz was just a fad with little or no substance but this isn’t, this is the real deal. The thing that gave it away for me was the fact that on my three visits I spotted 5 different chefs eating there and that is the biggest compliment a new venue can get. The competition in checking you out. BEAR is something new, something revolutionary for Dublin and it absolutely fucking rocks. It also happens to be very reasonably priced which is key and as you can see from one of the bills above you could eat there for under €50 for 2 people comfortably if you wanted to. The food, the relaxed service, the chilled out vibe all make it a must visit. The only thing that it doesn’t need is Jamie Heaslip. He was great for a bit of free publicity but the guys had online buzz and PR cracked long before they ran in to him. I’ve nothing against Jamie Heaslip at all but he should be focusing on rugby instead of getting in the way of what is some of the most exciting and innovative hospitality and cooking in Dublin.
The View From The Others
I’m only one guy eating there on one night (well three this week) and it is always important to have a balanced view so here are some other people who have reviewed the place…
Independent
Pol
The Silver Chicken
Dublin Reviewer
When I started catering college at 17 I got bored pretty quickly. They basically give you a full 3 hours to make a pot of soup for 4 fake customers and teach you theory about salmonella, Ecoli and other irrelevant shit like that. I wanted to learn and get to the top fast so I decided to find one of the 3 best restaurants in Dublin and get a job there in the evenings. At the time those restaurants were Thorntons, Patrick Guildbaud and Peacock Alley. First stop was Thorntons and I met Kevin Thornton while outside reading his menu and he told me he’d love to have me but was full and sent me off to Guildbaud telling me to avoid Conrad Gallagher in Peacock Alley at all costs. I got a job with Conrad Gallagher (not a man to turn down free cheap labor) but before that I stopped off at Patrick Guildbaud to see if they were hiring. Kitchens usually have a back door entrance but I went straight for the front door to chance my arm. That was my mistake. A snooty doorman half blocked me and then the restaurant manager turned me away while looking down at my runners and jeans in disgust. Fuck him I thought. I don’t want to work with arrogant pricks anyway. So it took me a full 15 years to come back to the restaurant as a punter…
We went for the set lunch menu. 50 Quid for 3 courses which is super value for a two Michelin star establishment. In fact lunch time is the only time to eat in most of these places if you want a bit of value. The meal started with 3 different people shaking our hands including famous owner Patrick Guildbaud himself, a nice touch and something that makes you feel like a rock star when done properly. We ordered and were brought out a little tasting dish of salmon with wasabi and creme fraiche. Nothing special at all. Tasted like any old piece of salmon. It was a bonus course but I’d rather have nothing than have a shit freebie. To start I went for Pig’s trotter croquette with potato salad and quail’s egg and as you can see at the top of the page it was as pretty as a picture. It was elegant, just on the right side of rich, packed with flavors and wonderfully unusual. A Triumph.
Next up a perfectly cooked piece of wild sea bass with bouillabaisse bisque and some tasty tomatoes. Simple, faultless and lovely clean flavors. It was screaming out for a glass of wine to make it even better but I was stuck on the orange juices. The veg served with it were as classic as it gets but as far away from the similar selection served in every Irish hotel as you could ever get. Everything about the main course screamed perfection. Perfect cooking technique yet it lacked a little wow. I was perfectly happy but hardly punching the air with delight at eating two veg and spuds no matter how good they tasted.
When you get to this level of cooking desserts will usually blow your mind. This one didn’t really but the finesse in putting it together and presenting it was stunning. At the end of the day it was just vanilla parfait with chocolate and ice cream. Again perfectly tasty and wonderfully executed but didn’t blow my mind.
Petit Fours came with the coffee as part of the deal and they were probably the best part of the whole meal. If there was one tiny fault and something that shouldn’t happen in a place of this level was that 5 petit fours doesn’t divide in to 3 guests properly and we had to argue over the last one! Apart from the food the service was outstanding. It’s the one thing that people always notice when they go to Michelin star restaurants for the first time. The details. The little things like waiters being there to help you out of your seat when going to the toilet. The person appearing from nowhere to top up a glass. This is military precision of the highest level and you wouldn’t find anybody working as professionally in the rest of Dublin in any trade.
So the food was faultless without being mind blowing. The service was second to none. The room elegant and beautiful. I couldn’t find one issue with any of it technically but I just didn’t have my breath taken away. It was only €170 for 3 of us and it’s a meal that everybody should experience at least once if they live in Dublin. I won’t be back though because there are at least 10 other fine dining restaurants I’d prefer to eat in. Maybe it’s the fact that I just wasn’t blown away or maybe it’s the fact that the grudge after all those years still hasn’t worn off!
The Alternative View
I’m only one person eating there on one day so it’s important to get some other opinions so here are some other people who have reviewed the place…
Fodors
The Independent
Gastroniomics
Taste of Ireland
Time out
I sold my business this week so I wanted to treat a good mate to a fancy bit of grub without thinking of cost. I’d heard very good things about Residence but had never been tempted because it was a members club. It’s €850 a year to join but anybody can eat in the restaurant. The reason I didn’t go before now is because I hate the concept of members clubs.They are usually full of people who are more interested in climbing a social ladder than the the things that matter in life and they remind me of the Celtic tiger. Anyway more on that later.
We went for the tasting menu without even looking at what was on it as we are both foodies and tasting menus are usually the best a kitchen has to offer. The clue is in the name really. First up was scallops. I’m never impressed with scallops because any old donkey could cook them well and they were with some sort of foam sauce which is always bullshit. I prefer frothy milk on my coffee and see no place for it on a starter. They did have some nice pork with them but scallops on a tasting menu is a cop out. Too easy. Too obvious.
The best course was the fois gras with toast. This was as delicious as it gets. Who doesn’t like eating force fed geese? The toast was perfect but I’ve no idea why the served picked vegetables and tomatoes on the side? It felt a bit like a super model dressed up in clothes from ASDA. Very tasty though despite the strange ingredients and technically perfect. Top marks.
Next up was the duck. Really nicely cooked and lots of flavor but an ordinary enough dish. I was bored eating it. Tasting menus should be much more “wow” than this. Even though it was technically well cooked and pretty on the eye it just didn’t pack the punch it should have.
We were just getting full when the cheese was served with lovely crackers, bread, grapes and apples. This was when the meal changed from ordinary to fantastic. There is no skill involved in serving cheese and in theory anybody could do it but this was perfection. The service was absolutely world class and that is what made the difference. Probably the best I’ve ever had in Dublin and it was no surprise as the entire waiting team were made up of French people. See the thing with the French is they can come across as arrogant bastards at times but if you want world class service with things done to perfection in a high end restaurant then you need to get them involved. They just get it.
The final course was an all time classic. Bananas with caramel. Loads of crunchy stuff, ice cream and caramel flavors running through it all. Desserts can be heavy and bog you down but this was freaking delicious. World class. The only fault was the addition of micro coriander on the dessert which was clearly just an error by somebody grabbing the wrong herb in the kitchen.
The meal finished with a couple of lovely biscuits and some chocolate truffles and coffees. The perfect ending to a meal and all the little touches were starting to add up. I wouldn’t be popping in every week to eat here but for special occasions this is worth a go. It’s not actually that crazy expensive either with the tasting menu coming in at €40 and with drinks and everything else bringing the bill up to €140 which given the effort that went in to this and the quality of ingredients doesn’t seem outlandish.
I was still pretty down on members clubs but that changed when I went to the toilets at the end of the meal. My mind was changed instantly. The place was stunning and had a great buzz around it. It’s way too much money to justify joining but I can now see why people would consider it. The good news is that you won’t have to in order to enjoy the food. This is not Michelin starred food but with a few changes to the menu and some tinkering around the edges it wouldn’t be a million miles off.
The Alternate View
I’m only one person eating there on a single day so it’s important to get a little bit of balance. Check out there other reviews from people who have eaten there…
Lucinda O’Sullivan
Good Food Ireland
Diffords Guide
I’m really fucking scared doing this review. It’s my favorite restaurant in Dublin but as always I’ll review it only on the experience I have on the day rather than any previous visits. I’m eating out with my cousin Barry who is only in town for the night over from New York and as a fellow foodie I want to show him the best the Dublin has to offer. So I’m doubly nervous walking in to the Butchers Grill in Ranelagh…I’ve had dozens of faultless meals here over the last year so don’t fucking let me down now you bastards. Time to deliver the goods.
And deliver the goods they do. See the Butcher’s Grill always does. It’s as close to a perfect restaurant as you’ll find in Dublin. It’s absolutely tiny, maybe 40 seats at most but we chose to sit at the bar and eat. If you are not here to eat steak then don’t bother coming. They do have some great other dishes but the clue to the magic of this place is in the name really.
As we were sort of celebrating seeing each other we went big. 12 Oysters each to start and a T-Bone to share for mains. The oysters were plump, fresh and tasty. They came with the only things you ever need to serve with good oysters and that is lemon, tabasco and some bloody mary mix which I ignored cause I hate the stuff. I hate big starters that bog you down before the main course has even arrived but this was the perfect start. Light, tasty and fresh.
I saw the T-Bone going on the open grill just as we were eating out Oysters. It was a fucking beast of thing, literally half a cow. It arrived on a chopping board carved in to perfect medium rare chunks. You get a couple of perfect onion rings and we had sides of baked dauphinoise and cheesy cauliflower. The sides arrived in those delightful little copper pots that I remember from my restaurant days cost about €80 a pop to buy but are stunning. I can’t even begin to describe the steak to you. You could have an ATM spitting free €50 notes with supermodels offering themselves up on the other side of the road and I’d still choose the steak. That is how good it is. Because it’s cooked on the bone it was super tender, literally like butter melting in your mouth. We couldn’t even finish it between us and god only hopes a dog in Ranelagh or a good stock pot got the remains.
Dessert wasn’t even an option after that feast. So to the only controversial part of the meal. 150 yo-yos for the 2 of us. A lot of money and I’ve been quick to bitch about overcharging here in the past. This isn’t overcharging though. See I don’t know about you but I get massively pissed off paying for bad food and poor service even if it only comes to €20. I’ll leave with a vow never to return and worrying about the money I’ve wasted. On the flip side if food is good and the service wows me I don’t care how much it costs. 150 lids is a lot of money at the moment but when you have a meal that you will remember in years to come and great company cooked by professionals who clearly put a lot of time and effort in to creating a wonderful culinary experience then it is value in my opinion. There are of course plenty of cheaper cuts of meat and less extravagant items on the menu and when eating there it normally costs me about €30 for myself.
Now I have absolutely no vested interest in The Butcher’s Grill but if you enjoy your food let me tell you one thing…pick up the phone and make a fucking booking to eat there now. We spend too much of our time shoveling shit food in to our mouths in this country and you deserve to try the best that is on offer. They don’t need my help because the place is always packed anyway and although there are technically better restaurants in Dublin (Thornton’s, Chapter one, Guildbaud’s etc) for me the “go to” place in this town will always be The Butcher’s Grill. Thank fuck it didn’t let me down on the night.
The Bill
I normally post the bill but I forgot to grab it. Prices were roughly as follows…
T-Bone €30 per person
Oysters €1.60 by 24
Sides €5 each
2 Beers €10
2 Cokes €6
2 Coffees €6
Total €140
The Alternate View
I’m only one person eating there on one night. To give a bit of balance to the debate leave your own review down below or read some of these other posts reviewing the place…
Fork And Cork
Stitch and bear
Big rock candy
Girl in the red coat
Independent
Curious Wines
When you work in a kitchen you come across a huge range of characters. I started my days cooking many moons ago in Peacock Alley the Michelin stared restaurant belonging to the infamous Conrad Gallagher. Say what you want about Gallagher these days but he changed the face of cooking in Ireland taking us all form meat and two veg and introducing us to exotic foreign tastes that we all take for granted now like risotto and chorizo. There were a team of about 25 staff all of whom have gone on to influence Irish food including Nick Menuier(Hells Kithcen, Masterchef, Marco Pierre White and Pichet) and Dylan McGrath the chef behind Rustic Stone and TV personality. It was a kitchen full of big personalities and massive egos and the biggest by a long stretch belonged to Dylan. To put it in to context I always tell people who think he is arrogant on TV that he actually comes across as much better than normal when on the box. I clashed with him daily and thought he was the biggest wanker that had ever walked the earth but one thing I could never doubt was his talent. He was intense, rude, offensive and ignorant but he was 10 times the chef I would ever be. His only ever goal at work was perfection and it clashed with my own goal at the time which was partying.
So when I walked in to Rustic Stone 12 years after working with him (the last time I ate his food was a shared meal between shifts) I was expecting to be wowed and blown away. The menus are absolutely huge with about 30 choices and as often happens with a menu that large I could barely find anything I wanted. Distraction everywhere. I always prefer 6 or 7 amazing choices rather than the kitchen sink thrown at the menu. I was eating with my mate Sean and we ordered chicken wings to start. 6 wings came out for a tenner and they were good. Simple chicken wings with a sticky sauce, nothing more. We polished those off and ignored the poor value because the main course was on it’s way and we had both ordered steaks on the stone. The stone which our waitress helpfully explained was brought out at 300c with nearly raw meat that you could cook to your liking and is the signature way of cooking for the restaurant. The steaks were brought out with great fanfare. I went for a Sirloin and Sean had a ribeye. To say they were a disappointment would be an understatement. We’d ordered them medium rare but there was barely a sign of blood left in either steak. We took them off the stone which then essentially rendered the stone useless as cooking the meat further would have sapped any remaining juice out of it. The sauces were average and truffle fries that we ordered as side orders were decent but no more than that.
I hated the whole experience and I was starting to think to myself “maybe I just still hate the fucker” and that was why I wasn’t enjoying it. Then Sean piped up with the classic line that forms the title of this post. He is no foodie but he knows a good steak and he said his was average as well. It was one of those times where you just want the bill as quickly as you can to get out of the place and take the financial hit and forget all about it.
The place was packed though at 6 o’clock. People were fighting for tables when we were leaving and there were ooh’s coming from all over the place as the hot stones were brought to the table. It’s all a big gimmick though. Some of you might remember Mint which was Dylan’s old restaurant in Ranelagh. It was tiny, unprofitable but lauded by the critics and customers alike. It was well on the path to getting 2 Michelin stars and I’ve heard several people describe it as the best meal of their lives. Dylan has clearly taken stock (getting 2 Michelin stars requires constant 18 hour days) and decided to go down the TV and profitability route instead. Who could blame him. It is clearly working brilliantly for him and his bank balance and lifestyle will be much better off. As much as I hated the guy I could always see his talent and the world was starting to see it at Mint. It’s our loss that he has gone for middle of the road cook your own steaks concept when he could be the greatest Irish chef of his generation.
Balanced Opinion
I’m only one person eating there one day of the week. Here are some other reviews so as you can get a good balanced opinion…
Lucinda OSullivan
Stitch and bear
Pol
The Early Birds
Independent
Dublin Reviewer
