Nothing kills a wedding quicker than a dodgy band. A wedding is basically a big party where you and your guests want to rock out with some serious tunes. You don't want to listen to someone else's favourite songs, you want to hear the kind of songs you'd actually listen to yourselves on a night out.
Sure we know that Nana loves a waltz, but tough, it's your wedding day! Harsh? Maybe – sorry Nana! Fair? As long as you're not blaring Cradle of Filth and Slipknot all night, I think so...
Here's our pick of the best wedding bands in the country right now..
10. The Converse All Stars
These boyos are laying their cards on the table. ‘This is a cheese-free zone!’ they declare. ‘We do not play waltzes or The Siege of Ennis so if you would like to hear these songs at your wedding it's best if we part ways right here!’ Well that's us told. Expect the likes of Vampire Weekend, Arcade Fire, The Black Keys, Thin Lizzy, Paul Simon and the Rolling Stones.
9. A Few Good Men
‘Was my band any good? I want the truth!’ ‘You can't handle the truth!’ Avoid this situation by booking these guys. Expect hits ranging from the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s from the likes of Chuck Berry, Depeche Mode, Adele, Pharrell Williams, Avicii and the Arctic Monkeys.
8. Bugle Babes
Each time I’ve seen swing and jive trio the Bugle Babes I’ve been blown away by their commitment to deliver an authentic retro experience. The sweet old-school sounds of these foot-tappin’, hip-wigglin’ Babes are guaranteed to give you and your guests some jazz in your pants.
7. The Mixtape
If you think wedding musicians aren't 'credible' then take a look at these guys. Super slick, with a wide-ranging, eclectic set, your guests won't leave the dancefloor. Even for a wee. They'll hold it, honestly.
6. The Dionnes
Resplendent in beehives and winged eyeliner, sultry Motown groovers The Dionnes are the real deal. Belting out retro classics, as well as their own spin on contemporary tunes, they’ll have you and your guests shaking your asses, watching yourselves, shaking your asses once more, and then, and only then, showing me what you’re working with.
5. Spring Break
Spring Break NEVER fail to get the place hopping. Aside from weddings, these guys have been selling out venues off their own bat, so it's obvious our appetite for fist-pumping 1980s floor-fillers isn't going anywhere soon. Expect bridesmaids to scream along to I Wanna Dance With Somebody while terrified groomsmen hide in the jacks.
4. Thank Funk
Thank Funk is a little bit rude isn't it? It's like saying 'funk off' to your parents and laughing gleefully because technically you didn't curse. Funk and soul lovers will have the time of their lives to brilliantly executed Moloko, Candi Staton, Basement Jaxx, Jamiroquai, James Brown, Amy Winehouse and Stevie Wonder.
3. Velvet Lounge
They say: "We pride ourselves in being different to other bands – we try to avoid the usual ABBA or 'Amarillo' songs in our set list as much as possible!" Fair play lads, fair play. What I love about Velvet Lounge is their unique jazzy take on tracks ranging from Oasis to Frank Sinatra to The Strokes. A particular highlight is their rendition of Radiohead’s High and Dry.
2. House Party
House Party are so good that the first time I heard them play I actually thought it was DJ. As I made my way to the back of the club, I realised there was a band playing. Jaysus! Expect some spot on Lykke Li, Clean Bandit, Ellie Goulding, Coldplay, Emeli Sandé, Rhianna, Snap, Depeche Mode and Johnny Cash.
1. The Classic Beatles
This is my idea of wedding heaven. I mean, it’s the Beatles. They have more amazing songs than you can shake a stick at so why bother with anything else? These guys have carved out a solid career for themselves, no doubt thanks to their spine-tinglingly uncanny likeness. Check out vid below if you don’t believe me. Wow.