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20th Dec 2016

10 Questions That Were Finally Answered In The Greatest Episode Of Love Hate To Date

niallharbison

1.Never Trust A Ganster’s Moll

Siobhan seemed like the nice girl who we were all backing but when you think about it she was no angel. She killed a man, lied about evidence, left her beloved Tommy on his death bed and was fond of the old yokes. You don’t become a gangsters’ moll by being a nice girl.

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2.You Always Come Back From Marbella In The Horrors

You spend a couple of months building your body to be in a perfect physical state, saving your money and getting fake tan applied to have the time of your life in Marbella. No matter how much you have stayed off the carbs before going to marbs you always come back in the absolute horrors. In fairness Nidge took it to a whole new level.

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3.The Garda Are Better Off Just Policing Croke Park

The guards have been close to closing down the gang on many occasions but a lack of support from the top brass, general uselessness and their snitches getting frisky and riding the molls foiled them.

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4.Gangsters Don’t Love Apple Products

If there is one thing we’ve learnt from watching Love Hate it is that you can spot a Dublin gangster a mile off by the type of phone they use. No iPhone 6 plus for these lads as they swap sims and avoid checking in on Facebook at all costs.

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5.It Pays To Be A Number 2

Just like Carlos Queiroz Nidge was the perfect number 2 as he sat in the wings and played a blinder as an enforcer. He was able to frequent brothels, take drugs and have a relatively good time until he decided to fuck Jonn Boy over and steal his money. The day he put his hands under the floorboards and stole that cash he signed his own death warrant.

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6.Being A Bit part Player Doesn’t Pay Off

Elmo has been a bit of a trooper throughout the whole series and despite being framed as a rat he rose through the ranks. With the big shots taking the prime roles though he was long forgotten sitting in his cell hopefully doing sit ups and reforming himself. Hopefully working as a a flight attendant for Ryanair now and a reformed character.

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7.Gerry Adams Would Want To Cop On

We all love the characters and enjoy the entertainment but is this really something that Gerry Adams should be commenting on? A little close to the bone (pun intended) perhaps?

8.Prisoners In Mount Joy Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Watch Ronnie O’Sullivan

We never thought it would be great craic being in prison and in fairness if we were Fran we wouldn’t have headed to the shower room as quickly as he did but the sight of a man coming in with a snooker queue and a grievance over a dying wife was only going to end one way. The saying snookered behind the brown has never been as literal as this.

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9.Never Trust An Innocent Loveable Pipe Bomber

Patrick is one of the most loveable pipe bombers we have ever seen and a stand up individual when it comes to his son and family. That is of course ignoring the fact he has killed 2 people in 2 weeks and his pipe bombs were also lethal. Legend though in fairness.

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10.Reconstructive Surgery Has Moved On In Leaps And Bounds

You probably noticed that Nidge had a bullet proof vest on and was shot in the chest but more pertinent observers copped that he has signed on for another series with RTE. Unlike the Sopranos where we will never know we’d like to wager that Nidge is alive and well and speaking in a south Dublin accent as we speak tonight gearing up for series 6.

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