An Open Letter To The Worst People On The Streets Of Dublin
"Oh how I do loathe each and every one of you"
Dear Cyclists Who Ride Their Bikes On The Footpath,
Let me paint you a picture. It's rush hour foot traffic in Dublin city centre and folks are battling their way through a horde of the slowest walkers on God's green Earth. Blood pressures are already through the roof. Heads are starting to look more and more punchable.
Then you hear it. That infernal ding-ding of a footpath-straddling cyclist with a misplaced sense of entitlement, who's clearly assuming a ring of a bell will make pedestrians fall into single file in some sort of Pavlovian response mechanism.
It's moments like these where you feel like you could genuinely pass out from outrage alone. Internally you scream, and occasionally externally, "get the FUCK off the path, you absolute wanker". Because that is what you are.
And this isn't up for debate. What you're during is illegal. The Road Safety Authority's website clearly states to cyclists: "respect other road users – don’t get into shouting matches with motorists; stop at pedestrian crossings; don’t cycle on the footpath".
Also, this is why it's called a footpath. Just FYI.
Nothing makes the blood boil quite like being stuck behind a flock of cyclists who are clogging up a pedestrian crossing.
But why do you feel the need to cycle on the path? It's true that the roads of Dublin can be a scary place to ride a bike, but if you're too afraid of the roads maybe try this: not cycling.
Or perhaps your reason is: “there was a car parked in the cycle lane.” So, it has to the walkers' problem too? Cheers for that.
In the end, it mightn't be safe to cycle on the road, but that's no excuse to make it unsafe to walk on the path too.
The Pedestrians Of Dublin.