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Get Your Shit Together - Super Detox Juice Hits Dublin

By niallharbison

December 20, 2016 at 12:10am


Do you typically feel like a bag of shit on a Monday morning? Have you lived to excess for too long and feel kind of disgusted with yourself? I used to feel like that all the time and I'd find myself on Google looking for a detox of some sort. Isn't it hilarious how we go from throwing 10 Jaeger bombs and a kebab into us to a position 24 hours later where we want the healthiest thing possible in the world. Why can there never be a fucking middle ground where we all sip on a glass of wine and some olives like the Italians? So after much googling over the years and plenty of market testing I found the quickest way to get healthy and cleanse your body is juice. Eating fruit and veg is a royal pain in the hole but drinking it turns out is not only fast and efficient but actually quite tasty. I've taken to juicing in a big way and have a bunch of recipes but we don't all have the luxury of time or a fancy juicer at our disposal so one enterprising young chap has come up with the solution for all Dubliners and I think he is onto something massive.

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Staple foods is slap bang in the middle of Temple bar and they offer a 1 or 3 day cleanse. You drink nothing but juice but they make them for you and all you have to do is hand over 20 Quid for a day or 60 yoyos for 3 days. Sounds expensive but when you consider the amount of fruit going into these bad boys along with the fact that this is the general wellbeing of your body we are talking about it is actually pretty good value. Oh you could also add in the fact that you don't eat a thing during the 3 days so you are saving a bunch of cash on that front too.

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They have a fancy ass blender which cost a bomb and came from Korea and which doesn't put any heat into the juices which means you'll have even more nutrients in them. The juices themselves are pretty tasty but I would sweeten them up a little with some extra apples but I guess you aren't drinking these for the flavor.

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A look at the ingredients tells you that this is some seriously good shit you are putting into your body. I generally find that having one of these type juices doesn't really do much but after a couple of days you are literally bouncing off the walls. In a good way. What wins for me here is the convenience. After a weekend bender you don't tend to be in the mood to go to your local Harvery Norman to pick up the all important juicer and walking into Tesco opens you to the temptation of rows of sweets and chocolate which you know will instantly make you feel good. All that is involved here is dodging the junkies in Temple Bar but if you think your fear is bad on a Monday morning you have no idea what they are going through so they'll probably leave you alone. 

This is a super idea and I love the marketing and simple flavors. Nothing ever beats the taste of a juice made at home because it will always be fresher but this is the next best thing. Don't bother your arse with any of the other sugar filled store bought smoothies because they do more harm than good but if you have the shakes, are "Never drinking again" or maybe just getting ready for a busy Xmas holiday season these are the juices for you. Get detoxing.


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