Look, we're not condoning weeing in public.
It makes places stink, it's a bit crappy for people who live and work nearby, and it quite literally constitutes pissing upon the city we all love. But it happens. And you could probably do with knowing where it happens, whether you're pro- or anti-pee.
So here are 10 alleyways where Dubliners flock, when they need to pull down that zip and pick up the phone to nature's call.
10. Williams Lane
Fans of the Twisted Pepper will know this beauty, this lane is always a good shout when nature's call can no longer be denied. Public urination may be illegal, but no jury would convict you (mainly because you wouldn't be put in front of a jury).
9. Behind Whelan's
So you're there having a whale of a time in one of the establishments down Camden Street, but the queues for the loos are outrageous and you're fit to burst.
Many take their business round the side of the building where they'll find a quiet lane with a rather wonderful bend feature, allowing them to see approaching onlookers from both ends and adjust their position accordingly.
8. Crampton Court
You'll find this secluded number on Dame Street beside Brogan's Bar. There's actually some interesting history behind this alley, dating back to the 18th-Century Little Dublin Coffee House and Royal Exchange Coffee House, which it once stood beside.
But what do you care, you're just gonna piss on it anyway.
7. Dame Court
This shortcut is a favourite for Dublin's cheeky pisser community. The alleyway is so thin that plenty of folks walk right past without ever noticing it – mind you it does come with quite a bit of footfall. Taking a slash doesn't get much riskier than this.
6. Stable Lane
Here we have a prime location for all your public urination needs, should you find yourself drifting out from somewhere on Leeson Street only to realise you need to go right fucking now. In terms of the privacy afforded, this particular spot is choice.
5. St Andrew's Lane
This lane is a real hotspot for the capital's exhibitionist micturaters. With the nearby graffiti providing a wonderful ambience – mind you, your conscience may kick in when you find yourself laying into a piece of art like that.
4. Johnson's Court
This is a great place to spot buskers, jewellery shops, and lads pissing all over the shop.
3. Copper Alley
Nope, not Coppers Alley. Copper Alley. We couldn't make a list of this sort without giving a big shout out to this Temple Bar piss stop. Give visiting tourists an unfiltered look at Irish culture by making direct eye contact with them as you strain the spuds.
2. Camden Court
We have it on good authority that ne'er-do-wells from out of town love to pop down this dark lane to bleed the lizard when they're "actually not able" to deal with the queues in Flannery's.
1. Camden Place (Beside Coppers)
Let's be real, every single one of you knew this would be here.