There are certain Dublin-specific experiences that can momentarily make your heart stop beating.
The reasons for this peculiar and worrying effect are varied: shock, awkwardness, or straight up horror.
Have you had the misfortune of experiencing any of these moments?
1. When there are no Dublin Bikes left at the station
Which comes with the sudden realisation that you’re definitely gonna be late to work.
2. Getting caught in the middle of a seagull feeding frenzy
You haven’t known terror until these beady-eyed demons descend on you while you’re trying to eat lunch in Stephen’s Green.
3. Looking at your receipt in Temple Bar
Surely this is some kind of terribly unfunny prank? Good one, guys!
4. When Viking Splash roar at you
Every fucking time!
5. When you inevitably bump into an ex
The joys of living in what is essentially just a fairly big town.
6. When you get cornered by a pack of chuggers
“Oh terrific, now I have to feel bad about not wanting to give money to charity”.
7. When you try to use the bathroom in Stephen’s Green Shopping Centre and the attendant is actually waiting outside
Now you’ve actually gotta pay that 20c for entry… like a grade-A sucker.
8. When you’re TRYING to rush down Grafton Street but there’s a massive crowd encircling a busker
9. When your hand’s out for the bus but it keeps on driving
But surely there’s still room for little old me?
10. When you’re at the head of the queue and you realise your Leap Card has no money left on it
11. When the queue for Boojum is out the door
“But I want a burrito nowwwww“.
12. When you’re crushed in a Luas moshpit and you’ve gotta get out at the next stop
You’ve never known pressure quite like this.
13. Going to a house viewing and finding there’s a queue
“Well this should be fun“, you think to yourself in your most sarcastic tone of mental voice.
Lots standing in the back garden too, honestly never seen something like this happen before pic.twitter.com/lJrjvmDjGY
— Andy (@ImACultHero) August 26, 2016