You've Definitely Done At Least One Of These 9 Things With That Statue In Whelan's
"Sorry mate, didn't see you there"
Ah, the Stone Man.
An understated hero of the city scene, whose solemn presence at the bar in Whelan's has confused and excited the drunken population of Dublin in equal measure over the years.
This generation's answer to the moving statue of Mary at Ballinspittle has inspired some odd behaviour out of us all – and here are eight things we know DAMN well you've done before.
1. Queued behind him
You've paid your cover charge, you've got your wrist stamped, and the DJ has just stuck on the horrifically underrated Freakin' Out by Graham Coxon – now it's time to grab a drink and get on the floor.
But here. What's the deal with yer man?
2. Become irritated by him
"What the fuck is this guy ordering, a slow-roasted pig?"
3. Apologised to him
As the area by the door gets crowded, and the bar gets a little bit jostly, many of us have had moments where we've feared spilling the drink of the quiet old dude who was only there minding his own business.
"Sorry mate, didn't see... Oh"
4. Put a hat on him
You absolute nutter, you.
5. Put pants and/or some class of prop on him
Right, now this is just getting out of hand.
6. Pretended to have a conversation with him
Whoa – you're even more nutty than the person who stuck on the hat!
7. Actually had a conversation with him
Oh. You were being serious.
8. Tried to nick his drink
You horrible, horrible person.
9. Attempted to wear the face off him
Well, desperate times, you know?