10 Things That Will Be Happening In Every Dublin Office This Week
Take a look around: has anyone worn anything utterly ridiculous yet?
For many people in Dublin, this is the very last week of work for the year. And thank God for that.
It's time to be happy, but also a time when the workplace goes a little crazy with all sorts of weird things happening.
Here are 10 things you'll be seeing this week...
1. Online shopping
The second tab will always be open as you use crucial work time to make sure you get all the gifts you need for loved ones delivered on time. You've become a skilled at keeping one eye on the computer and one eye watching for unexpected movement from management.
2. Gifts arriving from clients
Most of which will be snapped up by the office douchebag.
3. Saving budgets
Spend it or lose it next year is the message, so frantic calls will be placed with suppliers asking if they can rustle up POs for non-existent work.
4. Still drunk by lunchtime
Not only are people showing up at the office with hangovers, but party boy John is still drunk at lunchtime most days this week. He'd normally be in bits all afternoon, but the sight of yet another afterwork party makes it all good. Until tomorrow.
5. Somebody will wear something stupid
While Christmas jumpers might be on the way out, Christmas is still a time for wearing seriously stupid clothes and getting away with it.
6. Christmas FM will be on a constant loop
Great for the first couple of hours as you all get in the mood for the big day, but the shine starts to fade by Wednesday when you've heard Silent Night 17 fuckin' times and are ready to scream.
7. Some prick has their holiday's all planned
While you've been off having a good time all year one person has saved all their holiday days up for this festive break. It suddenly dawns on you that while they have three weeks off starting Friday you're left covering all sorts of shitty work and doing the work of four people.
8. An unexpected long boozy lunch
Management takes everyone out for a team lunch, which after a couple of glasses of wine turns into an all afternoon drinking session where emails are answered on the phone and calls to clients made in hushed tones outside the pub away from the music.
You could used to working like this.
9. Totes awkie momos
Absolutely no eye contact between the unlikely couple who hooked up last week at the office party. The whole day is about strategically avoiding each other and praying nobody else notices the sudden silence and awkward looking at feet.
10. Same clothes as yesterday
This can only mean that the person has either scored the night before over the egg nog or they were so drunk they slept it out on a friend's couch.
It's gonna be a messy week.