Stay Away, Dáithí Ó Sé: Here Are 8 Alternative Candidates For The Maitre D On First Dates Ireland

Fred Sirieix leaves big shoes to fill

fred

Yep, you've guess it. First Dates is (finally) gracing the Emerald Isle with its presence and we for one couldn't be more excited!

The excitement does, of course, come coupled with curiosity. Where will it be set? Will I know someone who's going to be on it? And more importantly, will they find love?

But surely the most pressing question of them all will be, who on Earth will be at these potential couples' sides to act as a helpful Cupid – or to at least ask them do they want more booze?

We've come up with a few suggestions...

1. Mattress Mick

Oh you may laugh – but bear with us for a second. Mattress Mick is a man with a plan and knows the ins and outs of this city like no other. He's no stranger to charm and could certainly help out a young man or woman who needs instructions in how to woo someone.

And sure if everything goes to plan, he knows where a couple of kids could find a bed or twelve..

2. Dustin the Turkey

Dustin has been out of work since his Eurovision days and is both ready and willing to give TV another go.

Fame-hungry and an absolute divil, this bold piece of poultry would be the perfect candidate to ruffle some feathers.

dustin

3. The ghost of Nidge

Well if anyone's going to break the ice, it's got to be King Nidge. He'll likely interrupt your date to tell you how he met the lovely Trish, or to show off his deadly trainers.

I smell a Halloween special in the mix...

nidge

4. The woman who lost her shit over Daniel O'Donnell

More (or less?) commonly known as Anne Sheerin from Roscommon, this woman owns and runs a B&B and would 100% make sure you're never wanting for anything.

A real believer in love, Anne would be the absolute bomb diggity and would definitely squeal so high only dogs could hear with excitement if she was just somewhat involved.

bb

5. The mum from Martin's Life

An Irish mammy through and through, Martin's mum would be super keen to learn about life post-marriage referendum – so she would certainly bring a showstopping element to the programme. Watch this space.

6. The statue in Whelan's

Of a 'strong and silent' type nature, this guy would leave you to it and resume his rightful place as wallflower, watching the magic as it unfolds – as he has done for so many years.

statue

7. Twink's dog

After a long stint on the run, Twink's beloved pup Teddy is back and better than ever!

Adding a canine to the mix would definitely ease the tension of a first date, and more importantly, show if your prospective other half is sound and likes dogs.

And with loads and loads of Dublin establishments stepping up to the plate and letting dogs roam free on their grounds, you're in absolute business!

twink

8. Hope Ur OK Hun xxxx

Set the scene. Two lovely Irish people meet, to be filmed for the world to see. They're both intensely polite and daren't make the first move. In comes the hostess with the mostest: Hope Ur OK Hun to spice things up and get the ball rolling!

Does the same job as a wing woman, but quicker and filthier.

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Written By

Kate Demolder

Kate is a contributing writer here at Lovin Dublin. You are as likely to see her indulging in some of Dublin’s finer establishments, as well as panic-exercising the day after.

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