Cometh the day, cometh Christmas time – and cometh the time we all bloody wait until the very last minute to pick up Christmas presents for everyone we know.
Classic.
You say you’re not going to do it every year, but then you act the twit again and spend your evenings inhaling mince pies instead.
Listen, it happens. To us all.
And we all think the same things…
1. Ugh, I hate myself
2. EVERY YEAR
3. Why is there NO parking?!
4. GET OFF THE F*CKING ROAD!
5. Oh my God, are those Hatchimals in his bag?
6. WHERE DID YOU FIND THEM????
7. Good Lord, there’s more people here than I thought
8. All of them eejits
9. Ah, Cath Kidston, that’s Mum sorted
10. *walks in and immediately leaves*
11. That amount of floral should be illegal
12. *voms on the inside*
13. Is this the top or bottom of Grafton Street?
14. Who really knows?
15. Am I sweating?
16. But it’s December
17. I’m fucking sweating
18. Jesus I’m never having kids
19. EVER
20. Have people SEEN THEM?
21. Ugh whyyyyyy didn’t I buy everything online
22. €42 for a hair brush?!
23. Good grief January will be bleak
24. KEYWEST ARE YOU STILL HERE
25. Jaysus the River Island mannequins make me feel anxious
26. Oh look, a puppy!
27. Whispers: ”Take me with you”
28. I actually need a McFlurry before I can tackle the rest of this street that should be renamed hell on Earth
29. *drinks McFlurry before paying*
30. OH GOD WHY CAN’T I STOP SPENDING
31. I hate myself
32. I hate others
33. I hate Christmas
34. I hate life
35. Maybe we can just not buy each other presents this year
36. And MAKE EACH OTHER GIFTS
37. Lol no, fuck that
38. I have no skills
39. I feel weak like a baby sloth
40. So…very…sleepy…
41. How do people run in the morning?!
42. This meandering pace is slowly murdering me
42. Suppose I could just give a box of love…
43. It’s a classic
44. You can’t go wrong with a classic
45. So I’ve passed Ginos once and actually not gone in
46. Look at me go!
47. Can’t wait to bulldoze into the second one
48. Heh heh
49. Good God that busker is rubbish
50. Shouts: ”Get a new dream!”
51. Did that old woman just elbow me????
52. I’m wounded
53. I need a Mao
54. Four helpings of Duck Pancakes please
55. Bloody hell, I’m knackered
56. Must. Coffee.
57. Oh my God it’s WHAT TIME?
58. Need…coffee…to….breathe…
59. Red cups are part of the experience, surely
60. Finally
61. Now I can get truly stuck in
62. The weaklings have been weeded out by undermining and overcrowding
63. But I will PREVAIL
64. Omg, fuuuuuuck that queue
65. Maybe I’ll just buy online
66. That’ll save me on parking!
67. And sleep!
68. And I’m staaaaaaaaaarving
69. EVERYONE IS WALKING TOO SLOWLY
70. Is that crazed loon on Wheelies?!
It’s legal when shopping the weekend before Christmas to punch children in Wheelies right
— Kate Demolder (@katedemolder) December 18, 2016
71. Gift cards are cool, right?
72. Fuck yeah they are
73. *adds 48 gift cards to cart*
74. Note to self: Never check bank balance again
75. Ignorance is bliss, yo
76. Ah, finished
77. Such productivity! Much kindness!
78. That wasn’t too bad actually
79. *365 days later*
80. Ohhhh
81. Fuck
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