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14 'Insults' And 'Jokes' That You Hear When You Go Home For Christmas From Dublin

By Darragh Berry

December 13, 2018 at 2:13pm


As much as we love Dublin, there's nothing more exciting than driving home for Christmas and getting to see all your old friends and most importantly, your family.

But, only a select few from your hometown choose to head to 'The Big Smoke' for work and they will always be picked on for making the jump.

If you're one of those people, you can expect to hear some of these lines being thrown your way during the 12 pubs or Stephen's Day antics.

1. *Wearing Tight Jeans* "Jaysus, isn't it great that your sister allowed you to wear her jeans"

It's called fashion, Seamus. Look it up.

2. *Ripped Jeans* "Ha, Could you not afford the full pair?"

3. Haircut with short sides: "Look at his hair, Could you not afford the full haircut?"

These are like the 2 for 1 whammy. If you have the fade/skin tight side haircut coupled with ripped jeans, there's no hope.

4. "Oh, the girl on the big bucks up in Dublin. Rounds on you so!"

Half of the paycheck goes on rent. There's not even a euro left to save at the end of each month. Crippled with debt and bills. So, no, there will be no rounds "on me".

5. "We didn't think you'd be down this Christmas because you love staying in Dublin so much."

Ah here, I haven't become that Alien to the place.

6. "Sure, this buck would rather be in Coppers."

No, it's actually Stephen's Day and I'd rather be no other place than in the local nightclub. I actually miss this place.

7. "None of this Snapchat shite that you go on with in Dublin."

Live streaming the lock-in in an unknown pub in the capital is grand, doing it in the local at home is obvious and can get everyone in the place in massive trouble. Everyone knows everyone down home, including the Gardaí.

8. *Ankle songs*: "Pull up them socks will ya"

And some eejits will physically bend down to try and pull them up for you. Just leave the pop-socks alone, plz.

9. "Is that a whiskey sour in your hand?"

Far from that you were raised now.

10. "Why are you talking like that?"

"Say that word again. What's that little twang there? Ah Jaysus, you've only been in Dublin a wet week." - Despite sounding the exact same.

11. "Here she is now, Ms. Big Shot. Sorry I'm not good enough to talk to anymore."

Your auld pair have been biggin-up your job to the neighbours and relations and basically, it now seems like you're running the place up there.

12. "Jesus you're an awful dry shite."

"You used to be great craic before you moved away. Dublin's changed you." Pass the sambuca bottle there please, this is going to be a long one.

Followed closely by:

13. "I see you're out every night in Dublin though."

"You've no money you say and you're quiet enough tonight but there was nothing wrong with your tongue or pocket last weekend on Camden Street".

14. "Dublin's feeding you well, anyway."

That's it, I'm out.

READ NEXT:Stop Panicking - These Shops Are Open Around Dublin On Christmas Day


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