The 9 Most Crushing That Happened To You At Christmas As A Child
A card... with NO MONEY IN IT? WHAT?
Christmas as a child is a delicate time to say the least.
You have older cousins acting the muppets and younger siblings taking all the attention. What's a kid to do? Ah yes of course, open the shit out of all of your presents.
But wait, adults are in charge of the presents. And adults get things wrong... so, so wrong.
1. Getting clothes
The feeling of some stupid aunt giving you a wrapped gift and squeezing it and feeling it was soft.
2. Opening a card with no money inside
After clearing up at your Confirmation, you've gotten used to the old trick of slipping a tenner into a card – the sophisticated way of bribing kids to like you.
However, when it does not happen, trying to keep a straight face is near impossible.
3. Your sibling getting the present you wanted
You copped on to where the presents were hidden ions ago and never told a soul.
One year you spot your ideal present and try to keep your cool on Christmas morning – only to see your sister unwrap it.
4. Practical gifts
You can fuck off with your bed sheets and your desk tidies.
5. Shite vouchers
1. No, I do not want €25 for [insert shite shop here]. Where even is that?
2. I am a child, vouchers mean nothing to me.
6. The gift you would have loved last year
Word to the wise: Frozen dolls mean literally NOTHING two years on.
7. Off-brand toys
Yes, children are label whores and yes, you're going to have to just deal with it for a little while.
And no, Mega Bloks are just not the same as LEGO.
8. Toys with no batteries
Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.
And, prepare to be surrounded by whinging children on Christmas Day.
9. And finally, presents for the whole family
A board game? WHAT?
BUT THE TAG SAID IT WAS FOR ME.