The Definitive Guide to Netflix's Dreadful Seasonal Offerings
Oh lordy lord.
You're hungover and it's very nearly December, so what better way to get in the mood than with some shitty Christmas movies?
With massive oversights (no Muppets' Christmas Carol, Love Actually or Home Alone in sight!), here's a whole rake of extremely questionable movies to help you pass this rainy Sunday...
Holiday in Handcuffs
"Unexpectedly single just before the holidays, an aspiring artist kidnaps a handsome stranger to introduce to her family as her new boyfriend."
Sabrina the Teenage Witch, aka Melissa Joan Hart, acts as a slightly psychotic, strong female lead in this extremely questionable seasonal film. Bonkers.
The Christmas Bunny
"Julia, a foster child, finds a wounded rabbit on Christmas Eve and takes it to the Bunny Lady, a lonely woman who runs an animal shelter on her farm."
As you can imagine, this is as must-see, action-filled thriller.
"A cold-hearted TV exec is about to discover the true meaning of Christmas the hard way."
Scrooged is a modern day take on the classic Charles Dickens story 'A Christmas Carol' starring Bill Murray. Made in 1988, this has plenty of sizeable shoulder-pads, amazing 80s hairdos and did I mention it has a young Bill Murray in it? Well worth a watch.
"A workaholic publicist is haunted by a newly deceased client, who pressures her to reform and reunite with a former flame to find love by Christmas."
Cringey Christmas chick-flick, twee plot, unnecessarily glamorous girlos and a cameo from Chad Michael Murray. Sure this is it!
Mickey's Twice Upon Christmas
"Mickey, Minnie, Goofy and friends celebrate the spirit of the season while Scrooge McDuck humbugs the whole affair in this animated holiday feature."
This is actually grand if you're capable of ignoring Mickey Mouse's irritatingly high pitched voice. But then again, no-one is actually capable of that so stay the fuck away!
"Terror reigns inside a sorority house a few days before Christmas break as a series of menacing phone calls transform yuletide cheer into fear."
Bit of a dark take on the holiday, but right up your street if you're sick of 'happily ever after' plotlines.
Power Rangers Super Samurai: Stuck On Christmas
"The Samurai Rangers get stuck in the Megazord's cockpit on Christmas Eve when it breaks down. Can the Rangers get out in time for Christmas?"
There's just too much excitement and fake fighting to comprehend. Will the Rangers save the day or will they miss all of Santy's presents? Stay tuned.