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15 Ways Of Saying 'Idiot' In Ireland, Ranked In Order Of Stupidity

Your guide to insulting an Irish person

Ireland is full of colourful terminology of our own making.

We've so many words for idiot across our little island that you mightn't recognise them all, or even know just how insulting each word may be.

To help Irish people better understand our own slang, and to educate anyone from abroad in need of an Irish dictionary, we've compiled all the words to call some stupid that we could think of and ranked them in order of their offensiveness.

We surely missed a few, so if you've any to add to our little list let us know in the comments.  

15. Dope

Most often used as a term of endearment, we like to remind our nearest and dearest of their lack of intelligence.

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14. Ape

Used when you want to imply someone has the intellectual capacity of an animal, but apes are pretty clever for animals so you can't be that offended.

13. Ludder

Popularised by RTÉ's Killinaskully, set in a fictional Tipperary village, this is apparently the typical insult for good-natured rural bar-flies.

Killinaskully

12. Eejit

Much like dope, this is often used as a term of endearment, though it can be made serious adding 'feck' to the sentence. 

Example: "Feck off, ya big feckin' eejit!" Bonus points for elongating that "eeeee" sound. 

11. Flute

Usually used in disbelief, when someone demonstrates such a lack of wit that you momentarily believe they might actually be a hollow musical instrument.

10. Spanner

A variation of the international insult 'tool', which compares a person to a blunt object. In this case, you're really just being more specific about the blunt object.

9. Cabbage

May seem like a soft insult, but do you like being compared to leafy vegetables? Didn't feckin' think so.

8. Gombeen

It's all fun and games until someone drops a G-bomb.

7. Amadan

Usually used as a insult by teachers, so they can act like they're being educational (speaking as Gaeilge and all) while expressing slightly veiled hatred for their students.

Teacher

"I loathe every last one of you"

6. Head-the-ball

This is reserved for the brutish types that are wont to fly off the handle. Probably shouldn't actually use it to their face.

5. Donkey

Again comparing someone to an animal; this is worse than an ape, however, as a donkey is a complete ass.

4. Muppet

Because calling someone a 'dummy' as an adult sounds too lame.

3. Plank

Implying someone's has a thick head, more skull than brain.

2. Thick

Actually straight up telling someone they have a thick head.

Tick

1. Gobshite

When you wanna eject real venom at someone without actually cursing by letting them know that their mouth is metaphorically overflowing with faeces. 

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Written By

Seán Kenehan

Seán is known for eating, drinking and writing, making him uniquely qualified to work for Lovin Dublin. Seán enjoys skipping stones wistfully, puns that'd make a dad blush, and referring to himself in the third person.

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