Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you’re getting on a bit.
And while you remember dancing and singing along to these tunes back when they were on the radio, they’re now 18 years old – meaning that kids who were actually being born at the time can now legally sit beside you in the pub and get absolutely hammered.
Here are 27 tunes you remember like they were released mere days ago… despite the fact that they really, really were not.
1. Sex On The Beach – T-Spoon
When your mum sang along to this song in the car, your life ended there and then. You didn’t realise it until today, but you still haven’t recovered.
2. Stop – Spice Girls
Easily, EASILY the greatest Spice Girls song of all – and certainly the most underrated – this stands up as a real pop gem. AND it was filmed in Ringsend.
Edit: It was Stoneybatter, not Ringsend. Ewps.
(Oh, and while we’re on the topic… Wannabe is two decades old this year. Just so you know.)
3. The Grease Megamix
This was released to celebrate the film’s 20th anniversary.
That same film is now 38 years old. Help.
4. Tragedy – Steps
You still know the dance, 18 years on. Ever wonder what important information you could otherwise store in that brainspace?
They also released this absolute RIP of The Winner Takes It All by ABBA in 1998.
Seriously, this is shameless.
5. Crush – Jennifer Paige
You may ask ‘whatever happened to Jennifer Paige?’.
Well, conveniently, she answered that very question in a recent article.
6. Do You Love Me Boy – Kerri-Ann
Remember Kerri-Ann, the Irish answer to Billie Piper?
Of course you don’t.
7. C’Est La Vie – B*Witched
“Some people say I look like me da.”
8. Here’s Where The Story Ends – Tin Tin Out featuring Shelly Nelson
A cover of The Sundays’ song which sounds basically identical to the original. Lovely tune all the same, though.
9. Mulder and Scully – Catatonia
The song that introduced Cerys Matthews’s voice (and accent) to the world.
Mayyybe the best song on this list, though that’s very much open to debate.
10. Truly Madly Deeply – Savage Garden
The soundtrack to many a slow-dance in The Orphan Girl disco.
11. My Heart Will Go On – Celine Dion
Titanic was released in 1997, but it wasn’t until the spring of the following year that this song did the opposite of what Leo did in the film – and rose up to the top.
12. Dance The Night Away – The Mavericks
Don’t say the Garth Brooks saga was never foreshadowed.
13. My Favourite Mistake – Sheryl Crow
The follow-up to 1997’s Tomorrow Never Dies, which, in fairness, was one of the best Bond themes of the grim Pierce Brosnan era.
14. Ghetto Supastar – Pras featuring pretty much everyone
The song that sampled Islands In The Stream to create a chorus so infectious that it ended C’Est La Vie’s reign of terror on the Irish charts.
15. Millennium – Robbie Williams
But… this can’t be 18.
IT JUST CAN’T.
16. It’s Like That – Run DMC vs Jason Nevins
17. I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing – Aerosmith
Aside from the fact that Ben Affleck was in it, this is literally the only detail anyone will be able to recall about Armageddon.
18. Believe – Cher
Cher made her comeback with this absolute banger, when she was just a whipper-snapper at the age of 52; she turns 70 this May, and is still as much a legend as ever.
19. The Ballad of Tom Jones – Cerys Matthews and yer man from Space
How did this even come about?
Who cares. Again… that voice.
20. No Matter What – Boyzone
In retrospect, Louis Walsh was clearly using this music video to test out some concepts for Westlife – who were getting ready for their unveiling at the time.
21. The Sweetest Thing – U2
This was a re-record of an old B-side, but to be fair, the video nails it as a late-nineties Irish classic.
22. Music Sounds Better With You – Stardust
French dance at its French danciest.
23. Feel It – The Tamperer featuring Maya
Better known as the “WHAT’s she gonna look like with a chimney on her” song.
24. Because We Want To – Billie
Before Ms Piper even had a surname, or married Chris Evans, she offered up this debut single – perhaps the lamest attempt at rebellious rabble-rousing of all time.
25. Horny – Mousse T vs Hot’n’Juicy
Another one that your ma WAS NOT ALLOWED SING.
26. Iris – The Goo Goo Dolls
How did we know what angst was before this song was released?
27. Tell Me Ma – Sham Rock
Well at least one half of the band name is accurate.
Oh, and we’ve compiled them all into a playlist…
Except for the Stardust track (cos it’s probably on Deezer instead) and the Kerri-Ann track (cos… y’know).