"I was in a pretty good mood and then Enda Kenny put in charge of the country again"
"They're actually opera-loving, Chablis-quaffing minor Austrian aristocrats who have been fooling us for years"
As the indecision drags on, it's time to face up to the prospect of a second round at the polls. But is that what we want?
"Jack Chambers doesn't bin his rubbish in McDonald's because 'that's what the staff are paid for'"
All but two constituencies have finished counting, and here's who's going to be representing us
"I don't like the way the people who tried to tidy up the gaff after party wrecked it, so let's reward the people who wrecked it"
These are the members of the 32nd Dáil who'll be representing our city
'Next bastard that comes to my door will know all about it. After helping over 8000 people in 7 years on the council this is how your rewarded'
"All the things that Lucinda Creighton would rather do to women than let them look after their own bodies, and folk worry about some booing?"
They've paid out a 'five-figure' sum, so there's no messing about here
Barring any surprises, these are the names that will finish first in each area
Don't listen to the Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil pundits – this is now very, very likely to happen