Ah first dates.
We’ve all had to go on them and we’ve all had to negotiate the awkward ‘who pays’ conversation at the end.
For years it’s been assumed that men should foot the bill but it’s the 21st century now so it’s time we started acting that way.
Here’s why men shouldn’t pay on first dates:
1. What if she ate more than you?
Hardly fair.
2. Women love bad boys
Nice guys finish last.
3. She picked the restaurant
You would never have picked somewhere THIS fancy.
4. You sacrificed watching the match with your mates
Wonder what the score is?
5. You’re poor
You don’t even know why you’re here.
6. She likes Donald Trump
HOW?
7. You already bought her flowers
Because you’re a gentleman.
8. You may never see them again
How would she ever pay you back?
9. You missed the early bird menu
“We specifically agreed to meet before half 6.”
10. She fell asleep
Emmm…
11. She burped
Well, that’s just rude.
12. She gets paid more
“Have I mentioned I was poor?”
13. She drinks like a fish
“Come on now, do we really need that third Jaegerbomb?”
14. You’re both men
How does this work?
15. You’re both women
Same question.
16. She ordered wings
Sauce… everywhere.
17. She ordered the most expensive thing on the menu
“Again… POOR!”
18. She was shite craic
When will this end?
19. She brought her children
“I am NOT paying for four people.”
20. It’s 2016
Not the bleedin 50s.
21. She keeps interrupting your hilarious anecdotes
What is this?
22. She ordered dessert
This has gone too far.
23. And finally, she left halfway through the meal
And you will be alone forever.
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