Forget Brussels Sprouts - Introducing Whopper Sprouts

By niallharbison

December 20, 2016 at 12:10am


  • 2 Bags Of Brussels Sprouts
  • Tub Of Fresh Cream
  • Emmenthal Cheese
  • 1 Packet Of Bacon
  • 1 Red Onion
  • 1 Packet Of Breadcrumbs

The debate about Brussels Sprouts rages year after year. Are they delicious or just simply work of the devil? With the world evidently split on them we decided to create a recipe that means that everybody could enjoy them no matter what. These are…whopper sprouts. We’ve turned to the old chefs adage that if you add bacon, cream, cheese and breadcrumbs to anything it will taste nice. I was even surprised at just how tasty these were myself. Go on give them a lash and let us know how you get on.


Step 1

Dive into the wedged full Xmas fridge and grab the following ingredients

Step 2

The main work here is on the sprouts. Empty the little fuckers out on to a flat surface

Step 3

Peel away any of the outer leaves that don't look nice

Step 4

You'll be left with a big pile of shitty leaves that you can just discard

Step 5

Chop the ends off the sprouts

Step 6

Place a little X into the bottom of the sprout. Don't cut too deep in. This just helps it cook nice and evenly

Step 7

Lash on a big pot of water and bring it up to the boil

Step 8

Fuck the sprouts in and cook them for about 10 minutes on full heat

Step 9

Peel the red onion

Step 10

Chop the basted up into even sized slivers

Step 11

Grab your bacon out of the fridge. The fancier the bacon the more taste the dish will have but any bacon will do

Step 12

Chop it up into nice even sized large pieces

Step 13

Lash a big frying pan or wok onto a medium heat

Step 14

Fuck in the bacon and the onion

Step 15

Keep them stirred and make sure all the pieces are broken up

Step 16

Cook them for a good fives minutes to extract all the gorgeous flavor

Step 17

Then pour in the cream

Step 18

Turn the heat up and bring it up to the boil. This is where all the gorgeous taste is going to come from

Step 19

Once it all starts to thicken up turn the heat back down.

Step 20

Strain the sprouts off and fuck them into the pan.

Step 21

Bring it all back up to the boil for about 2 minutes

Step 22

Take it off the heat and lash the entire contents of the pan into an oven proof dish

Step 23

Spread it all around evenly

Step 24

Sprinkle a shit load of the breadcrumbs on top. This is going to give it all the lovely crunchy bits.

Step 25

Grate a fuck load of cheese onto the very top

Step 26

Lash it into the oven for about 15 minutes at 180C. If you are heating them up later from scratch they will take about 25 minutes at the same temperature.

Step 27

Scoop them out onto the plate and watch people's faces as they contort from disgust to pure delight! We've done it! Whopper sprouts

So there you go an incredible plate of vegetables that everybody will lap up and even be back for seconds. The real beauty here is that you can lash this together in the morning and just have it sitting there ready to fuck into the oven at the last minute and heat back up. Try it and you will achieve the impossible task of getting everybody at the table to eat their sprouts!!