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20th December 2016
12:10am GMT
I always tend to be a little sexist with my recipes saying that a big steak is perfect for lads and sweeping statements of that nature. Well the boot is on the other foot now or as this is a recipe for the female audience the stilletto is on the other elegant foot. I'm not going to lie this seafood bake is pure luxury and the perfect weekend blow it. Who gives a shit that it is packed full of carbs and cream because if you are going to have a cheat day at the weekend then you might as well go out in style. Pour the white wine, get the girlie chats going and fire up this epic recipe.
So you don't have to have all the 3 seafood ingredients but they do make it extra tasty so try not to be a tight bastard and go big!
Grab the garlic and peel the bastards.
Chop the shit out of it into as small pieces as you possibly can.
Grab the lemons and zest them. Only have the yellow part as the white bits are bitter and taste like shit.
Chop the lemons in half. Not really rocket science that part is it?
Chop the smoked salmon up. Doesn't have to be in perfect pieces. Just rough as fuck.
Lash on a pot of water for the pasta and a big frying pan for the sauce and fuck in some good olive oil.
Start with the garlic and the lemon zest. Nice slow controlled heat
After a couple of minutes of cooking the lemon and garlic it will start smelling gorgeous. Fuck in the prawns.
Once the prawns start going a little pink fuck in the crab meat.
Cook it nice and slowly for literally 30 seconds
Lash in the smoked salmon
Stir it all around and make sure it is still a nice low heat. No need to be super high heat.
Grate a shit load of parmesan. Don't be shy this is the good stuff.
Pick the parsley leaves away from the stalks.
Lash all of the cream into the seafood mix.
Chop the shit out of the parsley.
When the cream starts to come to the boil lash in the cheese and the parsley.
Season the mix up with a shit load of pepper and a little salt.
Season the mix up with a shit load of pepper and a little salt.
Simmer it up gently and fuck in the juice of the 2 lemons.
Take the sauce off the heat and quickly cook the pasta.
When the pasta is cooked lash it straight into the sauce.
Mix the whole thing up so as the cream covers the sauce completely.
Little chefs tip...taste the dish now!!! Does it need more salt? Little more lemon? Do whatever makes it tastier. Pop it into an oven proof dish.
Grate a shit load more cheese over the top of it. This gives it move crunchiness and the more of that the better as far as I am concerned!!!
It should look like this. All you need to do is fuck it into the oven at 180C for 15 minutes to crispen it up. Wouldn't be a bad idea to have a sneaky glass of wine at this stage!
It should look like this. All you need to do is fuck it into the oven at 180C for 15 minutes to crispen it up. Wouldn't be a bad idea to have a sneaky glass of wine at this stage!
Sprinkle a little parsley over the top and bring it to the table and wait for the oohs and aahs from your guests!!! Epic
It doesn't really get much tastier than this. The ingredients are not the cheapest and this is not one of our healthy recipes but then having a night in with the girls is a bit of a treat as well. I'm not ruling this out as a dish for blokes either because everybody loves a bit of seafood. Lash on the pot of water and get chopping because this is absolutely fucking gorgeous foodie heaven.