Recipes Quick and Easy

Get The Pants Off Them Date Night Crab Bruchetta

  • 1 Packet Of Crab Meat
  • 1 Mango
  • 1 Baguette
  • 1 Tub Creme Fraiche
  • 1 Bunch Of Coriander
  • 1 Bunch Of Asparagus
  • 3 Limes
  • 1 Packet Rocket

There probably isn’t anything more romantic than cooking a nice meal for a partner of prospective partner. I’m not talking about lashing a frozen pizza in the oven or warming up a Tesco curry either. I’m talking about making that extra special effort and going all out to cook something fancy that you can both laugh over and enjoy together. You don’t have to be young and single either to be cooking something like this for a date night and at the risk of turning in to a marriage agony aunt type blog this is the perfect recipe for a married couple to share together. Turn dinner from a chore in to something fun and relaxing and send the kids to bed early! I don’t want to over egg this too much but it is more or less the best thing I’ve ever tasted out of all the recipes I’ve cooked on here.


Step 1

Spend a little extra on getting some good crab meat. Save yourself the head fuck of prepping it yourself and just get pure meat.

Step 2

Lash the crab meat in to a bowl and unless you want somebody to choke on your date make sure there are no nasty little bones in there

Step 3

Chop the ends off the mango so as it sits evenly on the chopping board.

Step 4

Use your knife to run around the edges. You want to make sure you lose as little of the flesh here as possible so take your fucking time!

Step 5

You'll have a lovely peeled mango at this stage. There is a dirty big pain in the hole stone in the middle so use your knife to go around the outside carefully removing all the flesh.

Step 6

Chop all the lovely flesh up in to little cubes.

Step 7

Fuck all the mango in to the bowl along with the crab meat

Step 8

Lash in a couple of spoonfuls of the creme fraiche

Step 9

Stir all that around and lash in a bit of slat and pepper too

Step 10

Chop your limes in half. You don't need to be a fucking rocket scientist to do this.

Step 11

Squeeze the juice in to the mixture. This will give it a lovely zing.

Step 12

Chop up the coriander. I fuck the stalks in as well as they are soft and packed full of flavor

Step 13

That is your mix completely finished now. You just need to combine it evenly and then set it to one side.

Step 14

Slice really nice big pieces of bread. You'll get a long piece by slicing it at an angle. They should be about 5 or 6 inches long (thats what she said!) and 2 per person will be perfect

Step 15

Chop the stalks off the asparagus and lay them on your chopping board with the bread.

Step 16

Give them both a good lashing of olive oil, salt and pepper


Serve this up and you are going to be on to a massive winner. Brownie points will be coming in your direction at a serious rate of knots. Your partner would expect to get this sort of food served up to them in a fancy restaurant but when you bring this out to the table you never know the title of this blog post might just come true!

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