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Quick And Easy

20th Dec 2016

Scrumptious Chicken Caesar Salad For Dummies


  • 2 Chicken breasts (Skin on)
  • 2 Heads of Cos Salad (Not the chopped up shit in a bag)
  • 1 Clove of garlic
  • 1 Lemon
  • Good big squeeze of Mayo
  • Half a Baguette (Or any other bread you can find that is crusty)
  • Grated Parmesan cheese

I don’t know about you but I absolutely despise salads. I mean how do a couple of leaves and some dressing constitute as a fucking meal that fills you up?

There is one exception though, and it’s on nearly every restaurant menu in the Western world all year round: the Caesar salad. Granted it’s not the healthiest salad in the world, but it it will fill you up that’s for sure.

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Most recipes have a million ingredients making the dish nearly impossible for mere mortals to make, but I’ve limited this one to seven simple items that you’ll find in any local shop. Give it a whack and see for yourself just how filling this delicious salad can be.

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Start by slicing the bread in to nice thin slices.

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Whack the bread in an oven dish and drizzle them with a few glugs of oil, making sure its well covered. Use your hands (as long as they are clean). Fuck the croutons in to the oven at 180C or 360F. They won’t even take 5 minutes. Screen Shot 2013-07-02 at 21.11.27

Sprinkle a generous amount of salt and oil on to the chicken breasts. We are trying to get nice crispy skin here, so don’t get those shitty little ones with no skin on them.

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Wait for the pan to heat up for a good 2 minutes so it is nearly smoking hot. Lash the breasts in skin side down.

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Once they are golden brown flip them over for another couple of minutes in the pan on the non skin side.

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Then flip them back on to the skin side down in the pan and fuck them in to the oven. Depending on the size they should take about 15 minutes to cook through.

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While they are cooking, chop the end off the salad.

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Remove the outer leaves and keep the lovely crispy fresh ones in a bowl ready to dress.

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Chop the garlic clove up really fucking small – as small as you can.

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Slice your lemon in half and squeeze it in to a bowl with the garlic making sure not to let any of the little pips get in there.

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Lash a good old squeeze of the Mayo in to the bowl and swirl it all around until smooth.

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If you want to be a fancy here you can fling in some anchovy paste, but we are keeping this simple.

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Your croutons should come out of the oven looking like this. They are really really easy to burn so keep an eye on them at all times. You’ll burn them otherwise trust me!

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Put everything in to a large bowl and give it a good toss.

Screen Shot 2013-07-02 at 21.13.52Put the cheese in as well and give it a gentle toss. I went for pre-sliced cheese to make it easier for me, but grating your own will make it even nicer.

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Pull the chicken out of the oven and admire the mega crispy skin you have achieved. If you want to be super fancy slice it up for presentation purposes, but if it’s just for yourself lash it on top of the salad and away you go.

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Try this dish though because it couldn’t be easier and it proves that salads can be delicious too.

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