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Assassination Custard

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We finally got to get to check out much raved about Assassination Custard, a true hidden gem on lower Kevin Street. This family-run spot has just two tables, but unlimited amazing dishes. Walking past this teenchy-tiny cafe on the corner of Kevin Street, you’d be forgiven for thinking it was yet another greasy spoon type serving fried bacon sambos for nearby construction workers. The place is popular with builders, sure, but here they munch on Panelle, a chickpea fritter hailing from Sicily. Assassination Custard is, and let me emphasise this again, tiny, with only two tables in the small room, a round wooden one crooning out for communal dining, and a cosy table by the wall for two. Run by husband and wife team Ken ‘n Gwen, the place is a mish-mash of their kid’s drawings bluetacked to the walls, a large watermelon as a table centerpiece, and random records. We’re sitting underneath a ‘Happy Birthday’ banner, and having wanted to eat here for aaaages, it’s even cuter than I’d imagined. You won’t find any fancy frills or fake fuss here: they open only from 12-3pm, and the menu, which changes daily, is hand scribbled on a brown envelope and thoughtfully explained to you by Gwen. Throw some tangy Middle Eastern flavours into a pot with South Italy, add in a creative mix of locally sourced fish and organic veggies, and you have the bare bones of the ever-changing menu of Assassination Custard. Assassination Custard is the kind of place I wish I lived right beside, so I could go in every day and just be fed blindly whatever they feel like cooking that day – I’d happily eat in pure faith that it was gonna be yum whatever is coming out of that creative kitchen.

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