The Dylan Hotel - Shite Juice And Soggy Salad
So I'd been to the Dylan hotel a couple of times in the past during the summer and sat out on their terrace for lunch. It had been savage both times. It's a designer place where the hoi polloi would have been doing lines of coke in the dark toilets while developers chatting to models in the funky couches during the boom years. Times have changed and with champagne sales tanking in the bar the hotel seems to be doing great business with international guests instead. From what I can see it seems to be one of the best boutique hotels in the city with a great location. I'd had a Burger King for lunch at a motorway service station so decided I wanted a salad when driving back in to Dublin. A very unusual thought for me and the only place I could think of was the Dylan. I didn't give a fuck about cost and just wanted to eat something that made me feel good after a day on the road.
I ordered a juice fully expecting it to be freshly squeezed in a place like this but they sent me out a glass of regular old shite. If I wanted a bottle of juice I'd have gone in to Spar. Don't call yourself a fucking boutique hotel and serve up muck like that. Anyway they arrived out with the salad and all seemed to be well with the world again. You can see form the image at the top that it was exactly what I was after. Perfectly seared Tuna. Little tasteful quail's eggs. Crisp leaves. Boom. I'd hit the jackpot. Except I hadn't really because the gobshite chef had gone and made a bollix of it last minute. You can see in the image below just how much dressing was on the plate. They'd flooded the bastarding thing with some rotten mustard seed dressing to the point where it was barely edible. It was even more annoying because the food was clearly perfect bar that last little mistake. In football terms they'd messed up the final ball. This was the Aiden McGeedy or Nani or salads. Perfect until the very last bit but actually a complete waste of talent.
The dessert was tasty enough. Some sort of mousse with almonds and berries and it left a lovely taste in my mouth after the puke fest that was the salad dressing. I was in and out in 30 minutes which was exactly what I was after and the bill was reasonable enough and would have been a steal if the lazy bastards had have squeezed a couple of oranges and calmed down on the old dressing. I don't like giving the place a bad review because the other 2 times I've been here it's been excellent and they have free wifi and great coffee but if you are paying 28 squids for a bite to eat you have to judge it on what they put in front of you. I couldn't help thinking of the Celtic tiger as I looked at the before and after images of the salad. Looked perfect, shiny and glorious on the outside but when it collapsed down it was an overpriced absolute shambles that nobody would touch.
I took all the images on an iPhone 5 which I think you'll find makes a major improvement in quality even taking my shit photography skills into consideration.