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20th Dec 2016

11 Times There Was A Bang Of Notions Off Of The Web Summit

katedemolder

So it’s safe to say whether you’re a MacBook devotee or a proud user of sundial, you’ve noticed the absolute bang of the Web Summit off of Dublin city.

Handsome European men swarming the streets in aptly-fonted lanyards, paired with scarfed, tanned women wearing Nikes – it seems that all of the notions in our country (and beyond) have been concentrated and sent straight to the RDS these past few days.

We feel this needs to be addressed. And here are 11 key examples.

1. The time they charged €20 for lunch

Let’s get the obvious, and arguably most ridiculous, out of the way.

If you were lucky enough to have attended the Web Summit over the past few days you will have noticed that your lunch cost a mortgage-like amount.

We must mention here that the standard of the food was very high, but be that as it may, you’re paying over two hours minimum wage for two slices of bread and a lump of meat. Back in your box, Summit.

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2. When they unveiled the world’s first ‘smart fragrance dispenser’

Ever stick an Air Wick into the wall and thought ‘God, wouldn’t life be just be 10,000 times better if I could control the intensity of the fruits of the forest scent with my iPhone?’

No? Us either.

But, if that feeling somehow ever does arise within you, you’re in luck. Two guys from Pura are showing off such a product – and, wait for the best bit, their team includes a hefty display of ‘hipsters, hackers and hustlers’.

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3. Every single time they referred to Uber as if it’s god’s saving grace

Rumour has it that the Web Summit heads managed to refer to new apps as ”Uber-for [insert keyword here]” over 131,294 times over the three days.

Uber logotype.svg

4. That time the humans got bored of trying and sent a robot to warm the crowd up

Pepper the the very cartoon-like and ‘non-threatening’ robot freaked the fuck out of us. We’re not sure what got us more, his creepy child voice asking us “don’t you think perhaps we can be friends”, or the fact that he’s in better shape than all of us.

Dem curves.

SoftBank pepper
pepper

5. That time Swedish House Mafia turned up

And it all took us a moment to realise that we were listening to, and taking notes about, a man who once created and produced songs called ‘Sexy As Fuck’ and ‘Get Dumb’.

6. When this guy thought that this was an ‘Irish Breakfast’

A melon wedge and gluten free Granola?

Sorry pal, but what we’re about to tell you may really shock you.

7. Umbrellas telling us it’s already raining

Oh yes, the Smart Umbrella has arrived and shops are set to be flooded with demand any day now!

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8. The Audi A7s escorting big dogs about

Sure how else would they get about? Using their legs like chumps?!

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9. The in-depth discussion about selfies

Or more specifically, the ultimate selfie and what we leave behind in a digital world.

And how #websummitselfie was trending at one stage over the week.

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10. The chat about riding robots

The robot was heartily discussed at this year’s Summit. And with this discussion, the view that ‘robots already do the vacuuming, help us with our shopping and drive cars so why shouldn’t we get one to help out in bedroom area?’ was thrown out.

This topic was debated by a group of experts on robots and robot ethics, and their end result was that we shouldn’t knock it before we try it. Right so.

riding

11. And finally – the ‘Best Dressed’ section of the website

Because who cares that we’re at a conference that boasts – let’s be honest for a second – some of the greatest minds in the world.

It’s what’s on the outside that counts, kids.

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