23 Stages You'll Definitely Go Through When House-Hunting In Dublin

Somewhere right in the heart of Ranelagh with a double room, a decent common area, a few sound flatmates and a rent that doesn't require a second job. Not much to ask. Right?

Apartment Rent

They say moving house is one of the most traumatic experiences that a person will go through in their lifetime.

And in particular, anyone has been looking for a house in Dublin lately will surely agree.

From viewing 'cosy' studio apartments that make you feel like you've been buried alive to handing over a year's wages for a deposit, here are the 23 stages that absolutely every house-hunter will go through in their bid to find a place called home.

1. The moment of truth

Maybe you've moved across the country or maybe you just can't stand your passive-aggressive clean freak housemate anyway – either way, you've been forced to accept: it's time to find a new place.

Time to get packing.

1-packing

2. The 'simple' wishlist

What do you need? Somewhere right in the heart of Ranelagh with a double room, decent common area, a few sound flatmates and a rent that doesn't require a second job. Not much to ask.

2-ranelagh 1

It's... so... beautiful

3. The foolish enthusiasm

Maybe the new place will have a bit of outdoor space... and maybe a fire. Yeah. I definitely need a fire.

3-fire

4. The first step

Hi Enthusiast House-hunter, meet DAFT.ie. This is a website that will crush all of your dreams at the mere touch of a button. 

Have fun!

4-daftie

5. The disbelief

How in the name of all that is holy can there be only three listings for a two-bed apartment under €1,500?!

It must be broken or something...

5-broken

6. The slow realisation

Oh, it's not.

You just can't rent in this part of Dublin now unless you earn in a month what Denis O'Brien makes in a year.

6-shock

7. The false start

That one's lovely... and cheap!

And... built on to the side of a crematorium... and the bathroom is in a separate room... which is a shed... at the end of the garden. Never mind.

7-wreck

8. The dead silence

It's the perfect house, only a few hundred people have viewed the ad - this is the one, you can feel it. You send off a message and are met with... nothing.

Why does this hurt so much?

8-wait

9. The settling

Terenure is pretty much the same as Ranelagh, right?

9-spread1

10. The first viewings

You have five apartments to look at over the weekend.

One of them will be great and you'll be moved in by the end of next week. People were really exaggerating about this lack of housing – there are loads of options!

10-thumbs

11. The ambivalence

The first one is nice, ticks the boxes but there's nothing really special about it. You can do better than this.

11-meh

12. The settling #2

Knocklyon is pretty much the same as Terenure, right?

12-spread2

13. The dawning realisation

Oh is it that one there? That looks lovely. No, it's the dingy one beside it. No, it's a converted apartment inside the dingy one. Is that a washing machine in the bedroom?

13-dawning

14. The panic

Sh*te, that first one wasn't so bad. Why aren't they answering the phone now? Damn it.

NOW IS THE TIME TO PANIC!

14-panic

15. The settling #3

Stepaside is pretty much the same as Knocklyon, right?

15-spread3

16. The envy

Who are those other people waiting? That couple look more responsible than us... they'll probably get the place now.

Assholes.

16-jel

17. The elation

You've found the one! It's clean, reasonable and in your dream area. Well, kinda.

Better still... you reckon you've charmed the pants off the landlord. This is it. TAKE MY MONEY!

17-happy

18. The waiting game

They said they'd call, what haven't they called?

You are reliving your teenage years, and you don't like it one bit.

18-wait

19. The self-doubt

It's been three days. Still no word. What did you do wrong? Maybe they didn't like your shoes, maybe you laughed too much at that awful joke about the All-Ireland. This is worse for your ego than a bad night on Tinder.

Time to give up. Move on.

19-reject

20. The spread #4

Cork is pretty much the same as Stepaside, right?

20-spread4

21. The call

WAIT WAIT WAIT WHAT'S THIS?

It's a strange number. Could this be the landlord? Your heart can't take much more of this.

21-phone

22. The win

It's yours! Finally, a place to call home and you're NEVER MOVING AGAIN!

22-happy

23. The call #2

One month later.

It's the landlord.

He's selling.

You have three weeks to move out.

This is your life now.

23-tent

READ NEXT: This Infographic Shows The Difference In Dublin Rent Along Each Luas Line

Written By

Marie Madden

Marie recently took over as Editor of Lovin Dublin. Having entered the 'this place is too loud' phase of her life, she spends her weekends on a quest to find the perfect bottle of red wine and rates coleslaw as one of the great evils in the world.

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