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31 Reasons Why You Should Definitely Go Drinking With Your Colleagues After Work Today
Published 00:10 20 Dec 2016 GMT
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Published 00:10 20 Dec 2016 GMT
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You know the drill. You've been staring longingly at the sunshine all day, and clock off time isn't too far away. And you're GASPING for a pint.
The only problem? You can't find any willing accomplices, as your colleagues all seem dead set on being 'responsible' and 'sober' on the first day on the workweek.
Well, have no fear – thanks to our indispensable strategic guide to arm-twisting, you shall not drink alone!
Seriously. That stone is quite literally splitting before your very eyes.
One day down, four more to go until you can do THIS again.
That's cause for celebration, surely?
How could you say no to this?
Pints in The Barge on a Sunny Day. The best poem Kavanagh never wrote. pic.twitter.com/7IkswtRRPA
— Aidan (@AidanCoughlan) April 9, 2015
Like, nothing mean or anything. But. You know how people can be after a few drinks…
They’ll just assume you’re pregnant or dying or something.
You just can't not use a stock image like this.
You know what they say: Personality is half a promotion.
No, really they do say that.
What do you mean where? On the internet. I think.
You won’t be getting anywhere near them on Thursday, Friday or Saturday like.
In a few years from now, you won’t even have the option of going for drinks after work; you’ll shrivel up after one glass of wine, and fall asleep in the canal and die.
You want to enjoy your last remaining years, don’t you?
Let's watch the sunset together. Like REAL friends.
Sure you look good-ish anyway; you don’t need the gym.
Dogs evolved from wolves, kids evolved from monkeys, and both those animals can find their own food – they’ll be FINE, trust me.
The Leaving Cert is nearly over, and the sun is going to be gone for good once that happens. So why not make hay?
Didn’t you learn anything in school?
That stuff goes out of date, you know.
I’ll probably just stay for the one myself.
You like good things, don’t you? You seem like the sort of person who likes good things.
Just an FYI.
Just an AFYI.
Also. Also for your information.
What, you’d never heard that before? Yeah, it’s a thing. I learned it on a night out with my colleagues.
Sharon/Mark/Orla/Steve are formidable opponents – if they get the claws in, you’re screwed.
Do you?
Last week when you were shopping, you evaluated your new jacket on an estimated cost-per-wear basis. Seriously, pal. Tick tock.
Remember the time we went back into the office at 2.30am and set off the fire extinguisher, then you got sick on Mark’s desk and fell asleep in the boardroom and we both got official written warnings?
That was fun, wasn’t it? The craic, like!
I thought those memories meant something to you.
More of a Sharon/Mark/Orla/Steve affair, you know.
Yes, I said affair.
LOOK AT IT!
Literally EVERYONE in the city is doing this exact pose right now. Except you.
I knew you liked me really.
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