11 Things You Definitely Shouldn't Do When Your Friend Leaves Facebook Unattended

These are things you might do if you were a bad, bad person. Which you're not, of course.

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Listed below are 11 things that one could potentially do to a friend who has happened to leave their Facebook opened and unattended.

Of course we'd never endorse this kind of thing – and you wouldn't be interested in this sort of carry on, would you?

Thought as much.

1. Change their name

This can go one of two ways. Either change so slightly that they never notice – or completely change it to something totally different in order to have the ability to chat others anonymously.

Best thing about this is, Facebook doesn't allow you to change your name back for another 60 days ≠ so they've to spend two months revelling in your cunning ways.

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2. The ultrasound profile picture

Regardless of gender, they will receive phone calls for the next fortnight solid.

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3. Accept their mum's friend request

And better still, immediately 'unfollow' her so your friend doesn't cop that he/she is being watched.

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4. Add everyone with the same name as them

If you're lucky, you'll connect with some needy weirdo who's keen to meet up and talk about ancestry.

And then, make them go.

5. Poke everything that has a pulse

The beauty of poking is that they'll never know until someone pokes back. And it's kinda weird to begin with.

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6. Change their status preferences

You can change who you share your status updates with.

The obvious approach here is to make their stuff free for all – but a more original take would be to change theirs to 'Only me', so they think that everyone is flat out ignoring them when they post something.

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7. Change their birthday

Standard. 

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8. Write an elaborate tale on a big brand's wall

For instance, a story of how you/your friend went into labour at your local Marks and Spencers, had to give birth there and then, and consequently called your kid Mark.

Virality beckons.

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9. Go full Hun

'fck fake ppl talkin shi u kno hu u r'

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10. Change their language to Swahili

They'll genuinely be trapped forever.

Unless they use words from the Lion King to navigate their way back to safety, that is.

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11. And finally, add all the people they barely know

So obvious. But we had to say it.

Not total strangers, but people from school/work/college/the drama club who they know... but would never actually add in a million years. The hint of believability is key.

No one ever wants to be that keen, out your friend as the creep you really know they are.

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Written By

Kate Demolder

Kate is a contributing writer here at Lovin Dublin. You are as likely to see her indulging in some of Dublin’s finer establishments, as well as panic-exercising the day after.

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