Hipsters have taken the world by sepia toned storm over the past couple of years. They seem to be everywhere; serving us coffee, selling us juice, designing our websites and brewing our beer.
And while this has all been well and good, they do tend to devour a plate (or non-plate) of notions for breakfast, before their Instagrammed sun even rises.
Below are a few suggestions on what the hipsters of Dublin should consider giving up over the next 40 days and nights – just to try life out as an average person for once, and see how they feel after freeing themselves from the shackles of apathy.
1. Giving up on giving up
”It’s just been done, you know?”
Yes, Lent has indeed ‘been done’. But a) that line is REALLY old, and b) shut up.
2. Jam jars
There is nothing wrong with glasses, be they flutes or pints. They were specifically made for the purpose of holding liquids about to be drunk. USE THEM.
3. Filter coffee
The catnip of the hipster world. Buy a latte and be quiet.
Be they tasty, convenient and everywhere, it would seem the average hipster’s body is made up of 78% burrito at this stage. Cannot be healthy. De-burrito yo’self.
Lol, you do that anyway.
Wear your Corrs t-shirt with pride.
Brotograph, brotocol, brocha latte.
It’s not nice. And I’m not sorry.
9. The following drinks:
- Coconut water (it tastes like sweat)
- Nut milks
- Matcha lattés
Maybe just try not to get thirsty over the next while.
10. Foreign films ALL the time
An episode of The Office once in a while won’t kill you.
11. Ripped jeans
Far too cold for that carry on anyway. We’re doing you a favour, trust us.
12. Saying the word ‘literally’
It literally needs to stop.
13. Social media
Feck Facebook, toss Tumblr and eradicate your Instagram for a short while and let food and scenic routes live in their natural habitat without fear of being papped.
You have permission to post one, and only one, Paddy’s Day related antic to a social media platform of your choice, but that’s it.