16 Things You’ll Recognise If You Spent Your Teens Sneaking Into Clubs

We all did things we’re not proud of to get there, but we got there in the end. And whether you were in Rathmines or in the heart of Kerry, we can guarantee a fairly similar experience. 

Don’t believe us? Read on…

1. You’d spend five hours carefully selecting what outfit makes you look older

Always jeans. Old people don’t wear skirts.

2. Boys had no other choice but to wear their school shoes out 

It was either school shoes or runners. 

Well, those and the Good Shoes – but their mums wouldn’t let them out in those. 

3. The film Thirteen was #goals

They understood you.

4. Pre-drinking would consist of peach schnapps and anything else you could rob from your parents booze stash

Or four cans, if someone’s older sibling was feeling sound.

5. Sometimes someone’s mum would be nice enough to drop you to the club

A sobering drive by all accounts, paired with conversation of school, subject choices and possible university courses.

Said person’s mum would then proceed to hug their offspring for what seemed like forever and pass on words of wisdom.

6. If not, the bus driver was always there to save the day

And hope their children wouldn’t grow up to be you.

7. You would proceed to memorise every detail of the ID you accumulated from your sibling/cousin/neighbour

Nothing was out of bounds. Birthday, confirmation name, star sign, eye colour, even shoe size. This was full-level Donnie Brasco shit.

8. The matter of ‘who goes in with who’ was a bloody serious one

Boys with stubble at the front, underdeveloped girls in the middle and hopeless causes bringing up the rear, so you could pretend not to notice when they were turned away.

9. And more importantly, whose ID was being ‘passed back’

The bouncers knew well three of you were using the same cancelled passport. It was all entirely based on whether the club was busy or not.

10. You’d get to the club around 10 to make sure you’d definitely get in

And the really desperate ones were willing to go during the day and stay there until opening time. 

11. Entry fee was more than you expected so you’d only afford one drink

And going by the specials board, it’s gonna be cider. 

12. You made genuine best mates with the woman/man in the bathrooms 

Mainly because you secretly hoped they could get you in forever.

13. All shifting would be caught on camera

Ready to share with the internet the very next morning.

14. At any given stage, someone from the group would be in the bathroom crying

From either broken hearts or severe vomiting. 

15. Someone got thrown out, and you all just HAD TO go follow them

To show everyone that you’re sound, but mainly because you were fucking starving.

16. And your night would finish with a portion of chicken dippers big enough to fill a bathtub

In fairness, some things never change.

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