Legend has it that Tiger Stores actually have an invisible pull, similar to magnets, which draw in people who love spending money on ridiculous and colourful things.
Thought you were the only one? Oh, how wrong you were!
But, be warned, the magpie lifestyle we lead only causes us to believe that we need more and more animated items that are genuinely functionless in our everyday lives.
Below are 17 examples of this ridiculous carry on.
1. Things with cute faces on them
This could span anything from rucksacks to cushions to pens to washcloths. And no, ‘but he looks like the old man from Up‘ is not a valid reason to buy such things.
2. Passive-aggressive cycling equipment
Because nothing screams ‘run me over’ like a whinging bell with a sassy note inscribed.
3. Sweets that could taste like/be anything
Trying new things is great and should be encouraged, but tread carefully when there’s a language barrier.
You’re on your own, kid.
4. Things shaped like animals
Or, more specifically: ‘things shaped like animals that have no purpose in real life other than the fact that they’re shaped like fucking animals’.
5. Patriotism by the bucket load
Only marred by the fact that you can’t actually buy a tricolour bucket.
Watch this space..
6. Exercise equipment
Bought, I’m sure, after a heavy weekend, and with the very best of intentions, these weights and exercise balls now unfortunately are used as door stoppers and tennis balls for when you want to pretend to be a tiny person in a huge world, respectively.
7. Something to spruce up the office
Sparkly sharpies, fuzzy notebooks and even green tea scented candles are welcomed into the drab world of office life, but when your work mate strolls in with a hedgehog shaped potted plant filled with shamrocks, maybe you should consider sending them to a Tiger rehab.
8. Downright ridiculous footwear
Who on Earth thought synthetic grass filled flip flips were a good idea?
9. Moustache-clad everything
A Danish company in origin, the people of Denmark must have been either stone mad into ‘taches or hardcore Movember supporters when Tiger first came about, because you can get just about anything with a ronnie on it in there – including earphones, stamps and wine openers.
What a time to be alive.
10. Sacrilicious stationary
Pens even the Lord would be proud of. Can I get an Amen?
11. Hats shaped like food
Yes, these are both hats.
And yes, you need to calm down.
12. The potato-powered clock
Ah, the humble potato. Giver of crisps and chips and vodka. And now, power!
For the Irish among you who say ‘Nay!’ to stereotyping.
13. Mop shoes
Thought you’d seen it all with the burger hat? Think again!
For the guy or girl who just can’t stay out of the kitchen when the floor’s wet, Tiger’s got you covered.
14. The one bra-holder bag
Don’t want to lug around a huge carryall for the evening, yet plan on getting your kit off?
People say ‘put it on your pocket’, but Tiger says ‘No way!’ with this nifty palm sized satchel, for the free spirited of you.
15. The Cupid cap
Single this Valentine’s Day? Don’t sweat it!
You can now play the role of the King of Love thanks to Tiger. Now who has the upper hand?
16. The mini skateboard
For the teeny tiny dare devil in your life.
17. And finally, the soap bubble gun
Okay, you got us, we take back all the cynicism.
You really bloody need this.
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