18 Of The Most Awkward Moments That Every Commuter Experiences

Commuting in general, and public transport in particular are like rites of passage. In small doses, they teach you patience, organisation and understanding.

In larger doses, they can make you want to die. It’s moments like the ones listed below that bring you to the almighty conclusion that is: commuting is actually fine, it’s the people that make it so bloody difficult.

Don’t believe me? Here’s 18 reasons why.

1. The bag removal of defeat

Surely no one will sit beside me if I put my enormous gear bag beside m… Oh, oh well.

2. The Hunger Games-esque vibe when the vehicle finally turns up

”Hold on to my arm and don’t let go!”

3. The utter pain and devastation when you forget earphones

A fear that lasts a lifetime/bus journey.

4. The neck crane to check out what the person in front of you is typing

Looks saucy. Oh fuck, did they see me?! Act cool!

5. The look of death you give to someone who has their music too loud

And it’s always Starships – Nicki Minaj. ALWAYS.

6. Touching thighs with your neighbour on the bus and wishing you were dead

And the more you move away, the more room they think they have. Lose-lose.

7. The constant sight of chewing gum everywhere

It’s a lifestyle choice at this stage.

8. Spending a small fortune on tickets and never being checked

And getting checked when you don’t.

9. Someone eating tuna sandwiches on public transport

Such vermin should be excommunicated from society.

10. Having to answer the phone on a crowded peasant wagon*

And it’s always your granny who you have to speak up for.

*bus

11. Sneezers

For the LOVE OF GOD cover your NOSE.

12. The bliss of finding a seat, but having a stander-by’s crotch in your face

Seats are never worth the trauma.

13. Falling asleep by accident and waving goodbye to civilisation 

So long to everything you’ve ever known.

14. When your phone won’t connect to the bolloxed WIFI

Or worse, when it tells you you’re connected and it’s BLATANTLY NOT.

15. Falling down the stairs of the loo and not wanting to get up

Especially when there’s 40 minutes of self-hatred and sniggering left in your journey.

16. Realising you’ve forgotten everything you’ve ever needed just as you get on

And, in turn, realising you’re a big stupid baby who shouldn’t have responsibilities.

17. Being slowly suffocated by some Hun’s dreadful perfume as she sprays unreservedly

And accepting that this, is indeed, the end.

18. And finally, having to deal with this shite on the regular

09.00hrs Sligo/Connolly currently delayed at Killucan due to train hitting cow on line. Expect to moooove on with 45 mins delay

— Iarnród Éireann (@IrishRail) February 7, 2014

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