38 Thoughts Everyone Has Had While Stocking Up On Booze Before Good Friday

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1. Seriously, what in the name of all that is good is this big fuss about?

The offies close for 24 hours and all hell breaks loose? Well. I'm telling you this now, I sure as hell won't be a part of it.

2. Screw it, I’m not even going to drink tomorrow.

And I'll skip the meat while I'm at it as well.

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3. Though I suppose I might want to have a glass of wine when I come home from work.

Long week and all that.

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4. It’s ridiculous that I have to work anyway.

It's supposed to be a Holy Day! What sort of heathens are running this country at all?

5. But at the same time, it’s ridiclous that the Church can influence the law of the land like this, in 2015.

I want the Holy Day but, y'know... without the holiness.

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6. You know what? I’m gonna show them who’s in charge of my liver functionality.

You're asking for it John Charles McQuaid.

7. That’s right. I’m buying wine. A BOTTLE of wine.

Mm hmm.

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8. I’ll pop to the offie on Camden Street on the way home from work.

9. And sure while I’m here, I’ll pick up a second. Just in case.

I'm hardly going to drink it, like, but it's worth having. Just in case.

10. Mind you, the rack looks a little bit sad with just these two bottles of wine.

It's going to be 10pm soon. Is this really all I have to go by?

11. And there’s always the chance someone will decide to throw a party tomorrow.

Oh Christ.

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12. Actually now I think of it, Sarah from work did mention throwing something small.

Oh CHRIST.

13. But no. I don’t even know her that well. Although maybe I should show my face, just to…

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14. NO! What’s come over me. I don’t drink for six out of seven days, I’m sure I’ll manage this one day.

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15. Okay well maybe I’ll go buy the drink, but just... to stock up for the next couple of months.

16. I mean, it’s not like it’s going to go off or anything, is it?

Nah. Not even the beer. And sure wine only gets better with age, or something like that.

17. Right, I’m driving to the supermarket offie then, I guess.

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18. Wow, it’s busy.

Really busy.

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19. God, Ireland is so alcohol-dependant. It’s sad, really.

20. I mean look at these slaves to booze, horrified by the mere idea of one day without having access to a drop.

Pathetic.

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21. Oh. Right. Okay, I see the irony here.

That is to say... I was being ironic to begin with.

22. Still, these guys are buying WAY more than they need for just one day.

Who on earth needs, like, an entire trolley? Seriously.

23. Saddos.

Screw the irony. I’m feeling judgmental.

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24. Right. Wines. I have the two bottles at home; just one or two more should cover me for the whole Easter weekend.

Nothing goes with lamb quite like a nice red. Or two.

25. This Rioja is on offer, mind… and I have the car…

Six oughta do the trick. Just in case, like.

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26. Beers. Well, I suppose it never hurts to have a six-pack in the fridge in case someone comes around for the game.

What game? You don’t even watch sports. What are you actually talking about?

27. Okay, a six-pack wouldn’t go too far in a party situation.

Party. Interesting. When did we start talking about...

28. Wait a second… what if I decide to THROW a party?

THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!

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29. Better safe than sorry.

I’ll need spirits and mixers at very least.

30. Few craft beers in case Dave from work with the notions shows up.

Look at him there with his notions.

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31. Yes, this is actually DEFINITELY happening!

There is no way on earth this is not happening.

32. Oh man, I’m going to be such a hero tomorrow

Screw you Sarah. You AND your party.

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33. Okay, the trolley is full but I’m pretty sure I have enough here.

I think.

34. Jeez, why is yer man looking at me so judgmentally? Doesn’t he know this is for a party?

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35. Right, time to set up a Facebook event and text everyone about the…

36. Ah, you know what? Screw it.

I'm really, really tired.

37. Christ alive, though… I really did buy a lot of booze.

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38. I’m just going to say this was my statement against the Church. Then let’s never speak of this again.

Written By

Aidan Coughlan

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