Everyone who’s lived, visited or even been in Dublin will know of the infamously famous Temple Bar.
Mecca to hens, stags and general piss ups alike – this holy ground is paved with spilt pints, foreign bodies and signs of a night well spent. If you know what we mean.
It has always, is always and will always be the same – morning noon and night, and we wanted to document its commitment to the cause.
The cause being to drink enough pints to fill an ocean.
1. Ah Jesus, how am I going to manage this
How did I let this happen? AGAIN?
2. Is this even Dublin???
3. ”Excuse me, excuse me, excus – F*CK OFF”
4. Does that sign say pints are ONLY €7?
Good lord. Surely this is hell.
5. Who on Earth ever thought cobblestones were in any way practical?
6. Tiny death sentences built into the ground
*whispers to the cobbles* ”Please don’t trip me”
7. Oh, great another busker
8. Wonder what they’ll sing
9. How does ALL of this area smell like piss?!
10. Piss AND weed
11. ? Dick straws to the left of me ?
12. ? Scousers to the right ?
13. ? Here I am, bawlin’ in Temple Bar with you ?
14. God bless the lads in the sandwich boards
*starts clapping aggresively*
15. Doing God’s work so they are
16. Oh look, a ‘Ye Olde Sweete Shoppe’, how quaint
Let’s pop in, shall we.
17. Oh, well there’s to a puddle of vomit
18. Surrounded by hun-buns
19. Sounds about right
Please don’t kill me.
20. Uggggh, this street is NEVER ENDING
21. Also, surely some of these musicians’s friends would tell them their rubbish?
22. Poor feckers
23. Is that a donkey?!
25. *looks at chung fella throwing up* Poor dote
You have so much to learn.
26. There’s no way I’VE ever been that drunk
27. *flashback* okay yes I have
28. Surely the rest of the word doesn’t actually think that Irish people live like this?
…but, don’t we?
29. Vomit. Vomit. Piss. Vomit. Spit?
30. Please say it’s spit
Please please please please please
31. Oh dear, here come the bucket shakers
32. No no NOPE no no I’m late for an appointment NO
33. AND the bible pushers? On the same street?! Really?!
34. And don’t start me on this yoke
35. Whatever the fuck that is
36. LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT SEAGULL
37. Did it…did it just rob a chicken fillet roll from that man
38. *sees 823,390,349 person long queue come out of Gogarty’s*
39. HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS
40. Do non-Irish people think we listen to Trad Music all of the time?
41. It sounds like a panic attack
42. HOW IS THERE NOT ONE SQUARE METRE OF NO TOURISTS ANYWHERE
I WILL BRING YOU DOWN. FEAR MY RATH.
43. Shit, I better keep it down. The man playing the harmonica, accordion, cymbals and drum simultaneously is looking at me
44. Okay Spanish students you need to back off
45. I grew up on these mean streets and MY BLOOD WAS USED TO PAVE THEM
46. Okay not really just get to steppin’
47. Good god you’re all so attractive it’s unreal
And the Irish: lumpy, soft pink quasi-humans.
48. Wonder if I’ll ever see my family again
Wonder what picture they’ll put on my mass card?
49. But, MY DOG
50. There was so much I had yet to do
51. At least I’ve a trendy* McDonald’s
52. You can survive on McDonald’s right?
53. *remembers Supersize Me*
54. Oh God I think I just kicked over that man’s cymbal
55. And where did you come from?!
56. Did someone actually dare to CYCLE THROUGH THIS CHAOS?
ARE YOU MENTAL
57. Sir, are you dumb
And have you LOST IT
58. Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.
59. HOW are you on the sesh?! IT IS 1PM.
60. Fuck, Elephant and Castle smells good
61. No sir, I don’t want a menu
62. Okay focus, home stretch
63. I wonder what that leprechaun looks like under his costume
64. FOCUS. YOU CAN DO THIS.
65. I’m almost positive the only people in this world who wear Hello Kitty merch are standing in front of Central Bank right now
66. Stripy socks were still a thing?! Who knew
67. Oh look, I CAN SEE THE GROUND
67. I’M ALIVE
68. *kisses the ground*
70. Wait… Is that the queue for the bus?
71. Sweet baby Jesus
Just. Murder. Me.