9 Things You Experience When Flat Hunting In Dublin
"Inevitably, you'll meet a landlord who insists you read a careful set of instructions on how to properly bathe yourself before moving in"
To put it mildly, looking for accommodation in Dublin isn't exactly a doddle.
If you've gone through the process yourself, I'm sure you don't envy those who are currently searching. But if you're looking for a place yourself right now, there are a few things you should know to expect.
Here are nine things you experience when flat hunting in Dublin.
Before you begin the process, you feel genuinely hopeful. After all, this is Ireland's capital, its biggest city, surely there are tonnes of great places to choose from! You feel certain that this flat hunt will be a cake walk, nothing to worry about at all.
You poor, poor fool.
2. The search
And so the search begins. Or rather, the sifting begins, because that's really what the process entails: sifting through as much shit as possible to find the occasional acceptable place. Not even necessarily good, just acceptable.
To make matters worse, you end up viewing complete cesspools that are advertised with the most outrageous spin imaginable.
3. Being picky
Sure, in the beginning you have some sense of resolve. You started with standards, and dammit, with enough persistance, why can't you find the place you want? Just a matter of time, right?
4. Adjusting your standards
Then time drags on. You don't seem to be finding those places you were so sure you would, at least not within your price range (thank you very fucking much, Daft Report).
You soon discover that the path to rental happiness in the Big Smoke involves placing those standards at a more reasonable level.
5. Meeting creepy landlords
In your journeys, you're sure to meet the occasional unsavoury character. Inevitably, you'll meet a landlord who decorates his living room in swords and insists you read a careful set of instructions on how to properly bathe yourself before moving in.
Or maybe that was just me.
6. Meeting creepy roommates
Even if the landlord is sound, you must still be wary of oddball roommates. There are certain types you should be on the lookout for, such as the Blatantly Eats Your Food Type, The Uses Your Tea Towels As A Hanky Type (yeah, I've encountered one of those), and the Pathological Liar Who Steals Your Rent Type.
7. Slowly realising you won’t find someplace decent
At this stage, you've seen some real shitholes. In fact, an actual shithole might be a preferable to some of the places you've now seen. You're at a point where you have to admit to yourself that you won't find someplace decent.
One of the places you first saw on your viewing tour that you didn't initially fancy (weirdo landlord, shite location, roommates with pets) suddenly seems like some sort of wonderful oasis that you'd jump at. This is what flat hunting in Dublin does to you: eventually, it breaks you.
9. The heartbreaking realisation that half your pay cheque goes straight to rent
And this is why you can't have nice things.
Having said all that, I'm sure if you're looking for a place at the moment, you'll be just fine. I mean, it could happen.
If you need help finding a place in Dublin, check out our Find-A-Flatmate events where you can... well, you can probably guess.