An Open Letter to All Singletons On Valentine’s Day

katedemolder

To whom this may concern,

I am writing this open letter to everyone who has ever heard the following question:

”But you’re so great, how on earth are you single?”

This question is both arbitrary and superfluous and makes neither party feel pleasant, happy or simply like they’re doing anything right.

In the olden days, finding a partner to settle down and mate exclusively with forevermore was done as soon as you hit puberty. Which seems like an awful lot to deal with when all you should be doing is learning how to draw the perfect CSPE picture, how to draw bad eyebrows and adding depth to the ”i’m not a fridgit, I kissed someone on holidays” story.

Nowadays, appearances and perceptions are regrettably important – and that, paired with our self-awareness as a nation, does nothing for our heads and even less for our hearts.

The possibility of rejection is public enemy #1 and even insinuating the thought of it brings a shiver down our collective spines, so strong, in fact, that it would shatter a Roy Of The Rovers Bar.

So, instead, we remain in the safe haven that is…

But is choosing to spend more time with yourself than with another an issue? No, no it is not. It is a help, and certainly not a hindrance.

While being with someone, caring for another and finding the perfect in imperfections is really and truly lovely – we need to get with the program. Being single until you find The One, or maybe not even being interested in The One at all, is more than fine, too.

Ireland is slowly (gross understatement) getting to grips with the fact that not being married by 30 isn’t the end of the world. Plus the concept of being left on the shelf is violently outdated – we’re pretty sure that it was only invented by people who think it’s okay to wear kitten heels and who eat tuna on public transport, anyway.

So, this Valentine’s Day, do yourself a favour: be your own Valentine!

Don’t look at other couples and weep – buy yourself a fucking donut.

And whether you’re bi, gay, straight, asexual or an option you didn’t even know existed – spend Valentine’s Day treating yourself and others around you like you’re all the best thing since Bunsen. You should continue do so for the rest of time – because you’re bloody brilliant, and you deserve a day all to yourself.

[Yes, we’re aware that birthdays exist, but February is a bit of a bleak month and we feel you need an extra compliment (or 12) to get you through the next few weeks.]

Couples aren’t always happy, boyfriends and girlfriends aren’t always nice, and relationships aren’t always what they’re cracked up to be – so give yourself a break. You haven’t found them and they haven’t found you, yet. But they will, and it will be so worth the wait.

Until then, you can get to know yourself. You’re pretty sound, and we think you’re great. And remember, you do not owe a relationship story to anyone, and you shouldn’t feel embarrassed about crafting your own story all on your own.

You’re not any less attractive for not having a partner, you’re not any less sexy if you go it alone and you’re definitely not any less important if you count yourself as your own Valentine.

So, stride of pride your way through life. For you have chosen the path of keeping it real, and you are not alone. And next time someone asks you why you are single now you have your answer:

“Why not?”