13 Reasons Why January Is The Worst Feckin' Month Of The Year

You're broke, no one wants to do anything, and suddenly you've gotta eat healthy... this SUCKS

Runner

After delightfully lazy, food-filled holidays, many of us are only starting back to work tomorrow and it's a grim thought.

While one of the Lovin Dublin team has already written about why January isn't that bad, I'm gonna have to disgree in a big way.

January is in fact the worst. Why, you say? Glad you asked...

1. You experience severe chocolate withdrawal symptoms

You've spent the last two weeks gorging on selection boxes, Quality Street and every chocolate biscuit you could get your hands on from the shitty tins you got received from extended family.

How can you be expected to just resume an ordinary life now?  

Sweets

2. You feel fat as fuck

Your bodily self-destruction over the holidays has resulted in an inability to climb stairs without needing a breather.

Heavy Breathing

READ: Beat That Post-Christmas Bloat With These Nutrition Tips

3. The gym is packed

The season of goodwill quickly evaporates as you set foot in your local gymnasium and immediately hate every other inconsiderate fucker in the place. 

Gym In January

4. No money

You made it rain like a Rockefeller over Christmas only to discover that you can no longer afford to pay the rent and that you'll be subsisting solely on cold tins of beans this month.

I Spent All My Money

5. You'll be incredibly bored but no one wants to do anything

See 'No money'.

Bored

READ: How To Cope With January's Return To Reality

6. It's dark when you get up and dark when you get home

Hello Darkness

7. The weather's so shite

All journeys now seem unnecessary.

Teresa

8. Eating healthy SUCKS

To atone for the calorific sins of Christmas you've had to go the complete other way and you no likey.

Smashing A Dinner Plate

READ: These 10 Healthy Muffin Recipes Will Revolutionise Your Meal Planning

9. You're forced to evaluate all your life's problems, attempt to solve them...

... And quickly realise you're a lost cause.

Pathetic Loser

10. You keep forgetting it's not 2015 anymore

Next 2 Months

11. You die a little when you have to put away the Christmas decorations

Just a little longer, eh? Please?!

Waterworks New

12. It's no longer acceptable to have chocolate for breakfast

At Christmas time there's just so much ambient chocolate around the place that the only way you could possibly get through it all is to allow yourself to eat it at any time of day or night.

Unfortunately, this is not socially acceptable at any other time of year. 

Love Chocolate

READ: Every Single Rose, Celebration, Quality Street And Miniature Hero – Ranked From Worst To Best

13. You've to return to work after a lengthy period of blissful laziness

You had a good run over the Christmas break. Laughs were had, food was enjoyed, pyjamas were worn beyond any reasonable degree of cleanliness, but now you must return to reality.

Fuckin' January.

Robin Crying

READ NEXT: 12 Reasons Why January Isn't So Crap After All

Written By

Seán Kenehan

Seán is known for eating, drinking and writing, making him uniquely qualified to work for Lovin Dublin. Seán enjoys skipping stones wistfully, puns that'd make a dad blush, and referring to himself in the third person.

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