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26th Dec 2016

21 Unmistakable Signs That You’re Back In Ireland


There’s no place quite like Ireland.

It’s a combination of so many unique traits that make the Emerald Isle the jewel of a country that it is, that make it an extra special place to return to for Christmas.

These are the signs you’re back in Ireland.

1. Once again you’re on the hunt for ‘the shift’

Was there ever a better term for the messy collision of two tongues?

We think not.


2. Deli rolls are everywhere

Hangovers abroad were intensified by the knowledge you couldn’t just pop down to the local supermarket for a chicken fillet roll with three salads and a free bottle of Lucozade. But those hellish times are over now, my child. 

Deli Roll

3. Tractors rule the roads with an iron fist

You become re-acquainted with your old and painfully slow arch-nemesis. 


Curse you, you sluggish fiend!

4. Strangers are saying hello to you

Seriously, how lovely are we?


5. If someone isn’t drinking they’re on antibiotics

Only logical conclusion.


6. The signature weather

Four seasons in a day? Really, Ireland? Oh, you!

Rain On Glass

7. You find yourself in conversations about the weather 

And don’t even get me started on the length of these evenings, cos let me tell ya, I somehow have an opinion on that too.

The Weather

8. “Ah sure, you know yourself”

The quickest way to kill a conversation you don’t want to have.

Good Talk

9. You’re once again waving at drivers who let you cross the road

We might be separated by glass, metal and distance, but I still need you to know that I appreciate this kindness.

Waving Sad

10. Presses

Here in Ireland, we know that ‘press’ is the correct term for that thing you keep all your cups and shit in. Sure what else would you be calling it? 


Pictured: Definitely not a cupboard

11. Sarcasm, sarcasm everywhere

Which invariably leads to sarcastic laughter like…

Sarcastic Laugh

12. You can’t hang up a phone without saying bye a million times

Don’t associate with people who just say bye once: they’re cold-hearted bastards.


13. You realise the price of drink is ridiculous

But… but… my monies!

Joey Angry

14. You thank God for queues

You’ve discovered in your time abroad that not everyone in this world respects the sanctity of an orderly line. 

Waiting  At  Bus  Stand  In  Queue  For  Ticket

15. The slang is music to your ears

Once again you can converse in your vernacular and end embarrassing anecdotes with the announcement that you’re vicariously scarle’ for your ma. 

Craic Seamus

READ: 17 Dublin Slang Phrases Explained In Perfect English

16. You notice that pedestrians give zero fucks about road crossings 

You now have to overcome your mental block against jay-walking.

Jay Walking

17. Creamy pints of Guinness

These creamy beauties are rare jewels across the water, but they’re a dime a dozen here in the homeland. 


18. Obscene alcohol consumption levels

Seriously lads, once you compare notes with other nations you realise that we’re reckless feckers.


19. Old man pubs are the best

The proper kind, mind. That kind that don’t believe in having a ladies’ bathroom.


20. The mother force-feeding you

“You’re right mam, I am underweight! More biscuits”.

Go On

21. The craic in general

At the end of the day, all the little great things about Ireland add up to make it a pretty amazing place… So it should be a hell of a Christmas!

Fantastic Black Books

READ NEXT: 14 Things You’ll Recognise When You Return To Your Hometown For Christmas