13 Ridiculously Passive Aggressive Kris Kringle Presents To Give This Christmas

Show someone you really don't care this festive season...

Poo Spray

Christmas is a time of giving. And unfortunately, sometime, that means giving to those you don't actually like.

If you've ever found yourself in a Kris Kringle group at home, work, or among friends, you'll know the pain of drawing the name of someone you really don't want to give a present to. 

You've found yourself in a bit of a moral quandary: you have to get them a present, but you know they don't deserve a present. What do you do?

We present to you this list of wonderfully passive aggressive presents for that undeserving Kris Kringle this festive season...

Because fuck yous are best served gift-wrapped.

1. Any item of clothing

That's way too small.

Tight Clothing

2. If they're a waster, get 'em a watch

And just like this guy's mother, include a note saying, "Time to sort your life out".

Watch

3. For an incredibly messy flatmate

Cleaning Products

"By the way, clean your fucking plates"

4. For a flatmate who leaves little notes EVERYWHERE

Fight passive aggression with even more passive aggression. 

Post Its

5. For someone you just plain despise, try a truly terrifying doll

Preferably one that and can turn its head of its own accord and sing 'Silent Night' rather creepily.

Doll

6. For a prick of a boss

Best Boss

7. Or if subtlety isn't your bag

Cunt Cup

8. For a child with parents whom you dislike

As this Reddit thread attests, giving a recorder to a young child equals a living nightmare for the parents.

Recorder

"I will make you pray for the sweet embrace of death"

9. For the germaphobe in your life

Hand Santiser

10. "So I know you love Batman..."

So I got you a bat in a fucking frame.

Bat In A Frame

11. Air freshener for the bathroom

A not-so-subtle reminder to your Kris Kringle that their shit does in fact stink.

Poo Spray

12. For that person who's always late

A gift that says, "Merry Christmas!", but also, "I will tolerate no more excuses." 

Book Of Times

13. This won't always be possible, but the ultimate manoeuvre in passive aggressive present giving is...

Re-gifting the shit present you got from your Kris Kringle the year before right back at them. 

Fuck You

READ NEXT: What Each Box of Chocolates Says About You This Christmas.

Written By

Seán Kenehan

Seán is known for eating, drinking and writing, making him uniquely qualified to work for Lovin Dublin. Seán enjoys skipping stones wistfully, puns that'd make a dad blush, and referring to himself in the third person.

Comments