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8th December 2017
03:08pm GMT
Christmas as a child is a delicate time to say the least.
You have older cousins acting the muppets and younger siblings taking all the attention. What's a kid to do? Ah yes of course, open the shit out of all of your presents.
But wait, adults are in charge of the presents. And adults get things wrong... so, so wrong.
The feeling of some stupid aunt giving you a wrapped gift and squeezing it and feeling it was soft.
Stupid aunt.
After clearing up at your Confirmation, you've gotten used to the old trick of slipping a tenner into a card – the sophisticated way of bribing kids to like you.
However, when it does not happen, trying to keep a straight face is near impossible.
You copped on to where the presents were hidden ions ago and never told a soul.
One year you spot your ideal present and try to keep your cool on Christmas morning – only to see your sister unwrap it.
WHAT.
You can fuck off with your bed sheets and your desk tidies.
1. No, I do not want €25 for [insert shite shop here]. Where even is that?
2. I am a child, vouchers mean nothing to me.
Word to the wise: Frozen dolls mean literally NOTHING two years on.
Take note.
Yes, children are label whores and yes, you're going to have to just deal with it for a little while.
And no, Mega Bloks are just not the same as LEGO.
Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.
And, prepare to be surrounded by whinging children on Christmas Day.
A board game? WHAT?
BUT THE TAG SAID IT WAS FOR ME.
Tough times.
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