We’ve Had It Up To Here – Would Restaurants Ever Just Give Us Some Bleedin’ Plates?

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When we eat food in the comfort of our own homes we tend do so using a plate accompanied by some cutlery. This method has been highly successful for centuries in the Western world, and their invention was a great achievement for mankind, until hipster fads came along that is…

In a bid to outdo each other, restaurants all over the world have begun to reinvent how they serve food. Gone is the humble plate and instead we are being served food on everything from chopping boards to slates, jam jars to wire baskets. As I write this, for example, in Galway I’ve just been served a burger and chips in this ridiculous manner…

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s a perfectly good burger – juicy and well cooked served on a gorgeous brioche bun.

The problem is that it is served on a chopping board accompanied by a wire basket full of chips.

I ended up spilling the chips all over the table, losing half my burger on the floor whilst trying to get my head around how to eat it. I find this happens pretty much every time I eat out these days, as chefs continue to outdo themselves in terms of stupidity…

There’s even a Twitter account dedicated to chartering this stupid movement: We Want Plates.

Mushy peas in a seashell. Like scraping the bottom of the barrel wasn’t bad enough. (Pic: @amy_pilkington) pic.twitter.com/OIpcVtjAPh

— We Want Plates ???? (@WeWantPlates) August 18, 2015

Name five things wrong with this picture.

GO.

(Pic: @annemarieregan1) pic.twitter.com/D5MIl7ULTL

— We Want Plates ???? (@WeWantPlates) July 23, 2015

Just your standard shovel on a burner.
(Pic: @Invagination) pic.twitter.com/m7qtw6GnxE

— We Want Plates ???? (@WeWantPlates) August 4, 2015

We see examples of this all the time..

Take the picture below which was from a review we did of The Vintage Kitchen. Here we have a lovely steak with all the trimmings.

If this had been served on a large plate with a border it would have been absolutely delicious. However, served on a wooden chopping board it is a complete disaster.

Where is the sauce going to go as you pour it onto the steak? I’ll give you a hint, your lap! Once you do stark eating your cutlery may slip and inevitably push steak, potatoes and beans all over the floor of the restaurant or, indeed, your partner.

So listen, chefs in Dublin (and all over the world)!

We don’t want cocktails in jam jars because you know what? A glass works just fine.

Putting chips in a mini shopping trolley once may have been cute but it now borders on ridiculous. We are not children.

I’ll take a cheeseboard on a chopping board (the clue is in the name) because I need to slice the cheese but feck off with the steak and chips on a chopping board.

I don’t want prawns in a pint glass, cheesecake in sauce pan or coffee in a champagne flute. Nobody does.

Why don’t we all just go retro and go back to plates?