The creation of Secret Santa led to the beginning of weird and wonderful presents being sold throughout the city.
The whole idea of Secret Santa is that it’s meant to be quick, easy and if at all possible, a slight bit thoughtful.
However, we started taking the piss out of it and instead of going down the thoughtful route, we took the funny road instead.
The same goes for your best friend or close sibling. It goes without saying, you’re going to buy them the thoughtful gift and put some time into it but if there’s a spare €20 left in the budget, your next thought is, ‘right I’m getting that Santa toy that strips off’.
We’ve compiled 11 of the oddest gifts that you can get your hands on in Dublin right now.
Some are brilliant and some are just down right brutal.
1. Emergency Beards – Debenhams €7.84
“I can’t grow a beard.” Five of the most heartbreaking words any man can say to someone who questions why they have bits of stubble spotted around their face.
We get our own back in November when we grow a killer moustache but for the rest of the year, it’s clean shaven all the way.
This Christmas will be different though as Debenhams have released a set of what they call ‘Emergency Beards’.
It’s perfect for those who simply cannot grow hair on their face or for those who normally rock Roy Keane style facial hair but in a moment of complete madness, shaved it off to go for that ‘cleaner look’.
WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING MAN?
It even comes in 3 different colours.
2. Beer Pong Table Hat – Tiger Under €10
Also known as, ‘Hovedspil’ – move the goal post game, this is ideal for a festive game after a big feast of turkey or can be used as a prinking game before you head out on St. Stephen’s Day to the local to catch up with old friends.
Be ready to be hit in the face several times with the ball as well as having half the drink that was in the cup spill down your body.
Maybe better not to play it in your ‘going out’ clothes.
3. Top Hat Hairband – Mira Mira €6
It does what it says on the tin (hat) really. Just imagine how fancy you’ll look on the ’12 pubs’ with a sparkly top hat that will be very hard to steal.
Also it means that you don’t have to wear those hideous paper hats that you get in the Christmas crackers.
Mira Mira say “designed for kids, but there’s absolutely no reason why adults can’t wear them too.”
Abso-fecking-lutely, there’s no reason why we can’t wear them.
4. Knicker baubles – Dunnes Stores € Price unknown
Yes, you did read that right.
We don’t know how much these baubles cost exactly but we know exactly what we’re going to be hanging on our tree this year.
Read the hilarious story about how one Granny in cork accidentally bought the kinkiest Christmas tree decoration ever.
5. Send a pint to someone – Hoom.ie Each pint €6
Now this is my kind of gift.
It’s the new way of treating someone to a festive tipple in Dublin even when you’re not beside them.
‘Have One On Me’, or HOOM, is a digital gift card for beer. You can buy your friends a beer and send it to them via WhatsApp (or email). Your friend can redeem his beer at any of the 100 odd participating bars in Dublin.
So, if you need gift for a friend, a pint from HOOM is the quick fix gift that’s always on tap.
You can choose from Guinness, Heineken, Smithwicks, Coors Lights, Carlsberg, Orchard Thieves and Bulmers.
6. Tassle Earrings – H&M €9.99
H&M have the perfect partner to go with your top hat hairband.
Could you imagine rocking up to Christmas Eve mass with these bad boys on? Or walking through Grafton Street with your tassles blowing in the wind, rain and snow this Christmas?
What would the auld wans say in the pub? Well, they wouldn’t say anything because they’d be absolutely speechless.
Could also be a good pre-present for your significant other before you give them the REAL pair of earrings.
Note to self: buy real pair of earrings.
7. Trivia On The Loo Book – Marks And Spencer €6.75
“Learn something new, whilst you’re on the loo.”
With that catchphrase alone, I’m sold.
The book is bursting with facts, figures, information and also contains some adult humour.
Gone are the days where your time on the toilet – whether it was short, long or reallly long – would be wasted on pointless thoughts.
Get the facts in instead.
8. Grow A Boyfriend – River Island €4
This could be received awfully, very well or it could go down like a lead balloon.
Ideal for those who have been unlucky in love recently or who have just given up on men in general because they’re all eejits.
River Island states that it will “grow on average twice the size when placed in water for 72 hours”.
If only it was just as simple for all men to double their growth using water…
9. Below The Belt Grooming – Boots €7.99
You know how the saying goes, look after your balls and they will look after you…
Below The Belt Grooming For Men has created something that no man has ever asked for – antiperspirant for your liathroidí and it’s on sale for us Irish men.
It’s called Fresh and Dry Balls and it basically “keeps your nuts clean and smelling good for sex, work and everyday life.”
The company says: “Lasts for up to 8 hours. Use it exactly when you would a normal antiperspirant – apply it below the belt every day and then forget about it, knowing that you are ready for anything, whether it be a long haul flight or a day stuck in the office.”
10. Fishing Trip On The Toilet – Tiger €8
When you get bored of, or have finished all of your interesting loo facts, you can pull up this bad boy and go fishing while you release some bait of your own.
The fish are quite difficult to catch in the bowl so before you know it, you’ll have spent two hours on the pot trying to catch one little fishy.
11. Beer Hat – Debenhams €9.80
We’ve seen it in a few movies and television shows but you can now make your dream a reality.
The hat is the definition of a man multitasking at its absolute finest. “This super functional hat boosts a man’s efficiency by allowing him to guzzle & perform his essential tasks at the same time without juggling his drinks around & looking for a place to put them down. Able to hold two drinks, thirst is a thing of the past.
Hands are now free for checking your phone, changing the channels and shaking your fist at the referee when he doesn’t give your team a penalty.
READ NEXT: 9 Must-Try Indulgent Treats In Dublin This Christmas
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