Over the years, I’ve gotten some dire presents from boyfriends. At best, they’re the kind of things you shove in a drawer somewhere and forget about. At worst, they make you actively question your relationship with that person.

I don’t blame these guys (well, maybe a little). 

Often, they had tried to be thoughtful and just missed the mark. They picked one thing they knew about me and decided to get something related to that thing, with poor results.

Just because I said Michael Bublé was a ride when he came on the telly doesn't mean I want his seven-disc Greatest Hits (who still buys CDs anyway?!).

The worst thing is that many of us try to make the whole process easy. We know exactly what we want, we start hinting around October and yet, still, our beloved manages to miss the point spectacularly. 

Not only did we not get what we wanted, our hopes were raised in vain. A tragic Christmas tale.

Tis the season of good cheer so in an effort to keep couples across Ireland on speaking terms come Christmas Day, we're going to give it you straight.

I'm speaking as a straight woman but I'm sure the same goes for dud present buyers across the board.

Take note or risk hearing about it in every argument for the next twelve months.

Here’s what every girl wants: someone who listens, makes a mental note when you say you want something, and then surprises you with that thing when you had completely forgotten about mentioning it.

However, we are realists so here's the back-up plan...

Something romantic

You can't go wrong with something like a photo of you two, a gift box of their favourite things, a scrapbook filled with mementos of your relationship, a notebook filled with reasons why you love them, a gift with her name or your names – basically anything that says you took your time and shows that you care.

It doesn’t necessarily have to cost a huge amount of money, but it does have to show that you are thoughtful.

A classic gift

Here’s the rub: stop trying to be so unique and quirky. Cliché gifts became cliché for a reason.

There are not many of us who wouldn't like getting a nice bouquet of flowers, a fancy dinner, jewellery, perfume (always check which one she uses), or a weekend away. 

Obviously, apply common sense here. If she suffers heavily from hayfever, a delivery of blooms that give her a nose like Rudolph will win you no brownie points. Likewise, if she's a sports fan, grab a pair of match tickets for that trip.

While all of these things can be very expensive, they don’t necessarily need to be. There are plenty of shops that do bunches of flowers for less than €20. You can get a nice perfume in Boots.

In summary, if you know her inside out and are 100% confident that your personal and quirky gift will go down well - we commend you.

BUT if you don’t have a specific idea of what to go for, don’t try to come up with something completely out of left field and force us to fake a surprised face on the big day.

This is what we really want.

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