14 People We All Have To Endure Over The Christmas Season

katedemolder

Christmas time at home brings into our lives the necessary evil that is socialising.

Yes, bring a huge selection of people, who once knew each other, into a small, packed pub and you get Christmas drinks. Add some booze and you’re in for some fairly bloody awkward encounters.

The only solace you can take from these meetings is that you probably have your shit together slightly more so than these freaks…

1. Your secondary school ex

Is Christmas even Christmas without awkwardly bumping into an ex in a shite festive jumper?

You ask each other how you’ve been, and send well wishes to the family, obviously, and one of you, very intentionally, drops the words ‘other half’ to confirm just how brilliantly you’re doing.

Adulthood.

2. That thick you sat beside in school

They work for their aul lad now, simply because no one else would hire them.

Good to know they’re doing all right though, the big eejits.

3. Your ‘family friend’

And by ‘family friend’ we mean that weirdo whose parents are mates with yours. They consider you a cousin while you’d often be pushed thinking of their surname.

Poor things don’t have a clue how the world works, so you buy them a pint and try to slip away while they’re trying to figure out how to use the cigarette machine.

4. That lad who’s a DJ now

There’s one in every town.

Often spotted in over-sized black t-shirts posing with a face similar to the open-mouthed emoji in photos. You bond over your shared love for Long Island iced teas and he lends you a smoke if you’re wanting.

5. That cousin

The one you wish was adopted as you refuse to accept the fact that you’re made of the same stuff – often goes by a weird name like Jeremy or Mildred.

They’re also not particularly interested in you, as you’re a freak in their eyes too, but you exchange pleasantries and say you’ll see each other on New Year’s.

(You won’t.)

6. The girl who peaked in TY

She was once the hottest bitch going, who had a car before she’d done the Junior Cert – but now poor Emma has lost the run of herself a little. She’ll mention how close you were in 6th year and how she wishes things could’ve stayed that way.

She’ll also beg you to stay out longer and maybe even offer you drugs.

7. Your mate’s ex

Always an awkward one, as now you literally have nothing in common. They’ll offer to buy you a drink and you just say you’re driving so the conversation can finally end.

8. Your first shift

You don’t recognise them at first, and have to stop yourself from saying, “what was I thinking?!” but you think “sure I must have liked something about them at some stage” so you give them a chance.

They offer you a joint they pulled from their sock and you scream.