With so many people heading back to their hometowns for Christmas, we thought we’d take a look at some of the things we all experience when we head home after a long absence…
1. That sweet feeling of homecoming
You’re relating to Chris Rea so hard right now.
2. You get nostalgic about all the things you used to hate about the place
“Oh look, over there was where I had the worse fucking job of my life! Classic times.”
3. You meet the lovely old local shopkeeper again
Who seems to be eternally the same age.
4. You quickly get the sense that things really haven’t changed much in general
5. You make your obligatory visits
When all you actually wanna do is chill out at home and watch The Muppet Christmas Carol.
6. You get updated on all the local gossip
i.e. All the people who died recently (who you didn’t know anyway).
7. You’re told you’ve developed notions since moving away
Better keep your choice of clothing as conservative as you can, lest anyone should think you’re a prick.
8. Blessed be that sound priest who gives quickie Christmas Mass sermons
For he shall inherit the earth.
9. Highly anticipated reunions will take place exclusively in cramped pubs
Ah, so many familiar faces. Too many familiar faces. And their faces are far too close to my face.
10. “So how have you been getting on?” is the recurring question of your festive nights at home
11. You realise that having only one place to head out is both a blessing and a curse
True, the choice anxiety has been removed, but this place is shit. It’s the emotional conflict at the heart of your Christmas nights out.
12. You get cornered by someone you half-knew from school in the bathroom
Let’s talk about how we recognise each other’s faces for a bit.
13. You will awkwardly meet your ex
Requiring a delicately executed exit strategy.
14. By the end, you’ll have achieved a sense of validation in your decision to have left this town in the first place
Until next year, home!
Did we miss anything? Let us know in the comments.
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