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25th Jun 2018

17 Things You’ll Recognise When You’re An Irish Person Living Abroad

seank

We Irish are a nomadic breed.

Thousands of our people have spread their wings and are now living abroad, and all those folks share some very specific experiences..

Feast your peepers on the 17 things you’ll recognise when you’re an Irish person living abroad.

1. Potatoes are constantly mentioned around you

Spud jokes become part of your daily life, you must accept this and move on.

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2. Much of your vocabulary becomes useless

You come to realise how many of your words are uniquely Irish, so you’re greeted by heads tilted in confusion whenever you ask which press the sliced pan is in.

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3. Good craic is hard to find

You find that the banter levels of other nations just don’t meet the Irish standard. Sarcasm simply sails over their heads. You’re expected to use sincerity muscles you never even knew you had.

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4. The lure of the Irish pub

You swore you wouldn’t be that kind of person, but despite your very best efforts to resist you find yourself drawn towards Irish pubs. You’ve now become a cliché.

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5. Irish comfort zone

You find yourself actively seeking out other Irish people. In fact, your friend standards become so low that your only requirement is that they be Irish.

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6. You’re not built for this foreign lark

You discover your poor Irish body is not physically suited to any climate other than cloudy, wet, and cold.

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7. Mistaken for English

If one more person calls you English, you’re gonna lose your shit.

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8. You miss good tea

Your life becomes a Barry’s Tea ad from the ‘90s.

9. Romancing with the Irish language

Prospective conquests will often demand that you speak to them in ‘Gaelic’, so rather than embarrassing yourself by admitting you failed pass Irish, you go ahead and make something up.

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10. Complimented on your English skills

People compliment you on your command of the English language, it’s amazing how you speak it so well, and their stupidity really takes your breath away.

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READ: 27 Reasons You Should Move To Live In Ireland Right Now

11. Your name is unpronounceable

No one in this foreign land seems to be able to pronounce your monstrosity of a name, at least three attempts are needed before anyone gets it. It also makes placing an order at Starbucks a complete nightmare.

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12. You need elocution lessons

You have to speak as slowly and as clearly as physically possible because no one can understand your thick accent (and here you thought you never had an accent).

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13. You’re very aware of your use of words with ‘th’ in them

You practice your ‘thirty-three and a third’ on a bidaily basis, in conjunction with your various other vocal warm-up techniques.

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14. People assume all the Irish know each other

And you’re gutted when it turns out you actually do know the person they’re talking about.

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15. People do impressions of you

You laugh, but inside you die a little.

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16. Alcohol issues

Man oh man, the whole ‘Irish people are drunks’ shtick never seems to get old, does it?

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17. Gotta give ’em what they want

However, due to peer pressure on an international scale, you feel an obligation to live up to expectations.

bernard-black-drinking

READ NEXT: 15 Words That Sound Strangely Funny When Pronounced In An Irish Accent

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