Dublin can be a harsh mistress.
As much as we love the place, it isn’t always easy living here. You learn some lessons over the years, ones that can be hard to bear. And honestly, we don’t think we’re being melodramatic about this.
You’ve all known these bitter struggles.
1. Hopping on the Luas is akin to squeezing into a sardine can
You know you’re probably too close to your fellow passengers when you can feel their breath on your neck.
2. Viking Splash will never NOT give you a mini-heart attack when they pass you on the street
Their abrupt shout is guaranteed to make you clutch your heart and say “me nerves“.
3. There is no umbrella etiquette
That’s right, oncoming walker, keep that umbrella with its metal prongs at the exact level of my eye.
You couldn’t possibly be expected to know how to hold an umbrella, it’s not like you live in a country where it rains most of the time or anything.
4. It’s hard out there for a cyclist
At times you feel that maybe Dublin doesn’t exactly cater for the bike lovers among us…
5. Chuggers lurk around every corner
And they can smell your privileged guilt a mile off.
6. The magic of Coppers eventually wears off
One morning you wake up feeling that maybe there’s more to life than merely shiftin’ and driftin’.
7. Purgatory is actually located in this city
Only we know it as ‘Grafton Street’.
8. Getting a taxi after a night out is a cutthroat business
On occasion you can only beat the queue by foregoing your late night rendez-vous with Babylon. Not cool.
9. You’d better like slow walkers
Cos those fuckers are everywhere.
10. Seagulls, seagulls everywhere
Forget aliens, the avian invasion has already begun.
11. Sand dogs are our main form of public entertainment
12. Friends living elsewhere in the country can’t comprehend how much rent you have to pay
They’ll never know your pain.
13. The price of pints will forever bring a tear to your eye
And after everything we’ve done for you, pubs.
Did we miss any hard truths? Let us know in the comments.