Hands up if you’ve been one of the thousands of us who have survived the miserable depths of Irish festivals?
Yep, us too.
It takes a special kind of person (not necessarily a compliment) to be able to hit the Earth’s core via mud and wellies and still be able to crack on with the long day ahead. But there’s a few things that Irish festivals all have in common…
We’re a silly bunch, us.
1. Muck
Let’s get the obvious out of the way, shall we?
And furthermore…
2. Muck-covered individuals
*MUD DOGS.
3. Water features in tents
Nothing says Irish festival quite like a puddle, or indeed stream, trickling through the crap tent the world and its mother picked up from Dunnes.
4. Warm, dented cans
Mmm, the taste of youth.
5.’Trendy’, non-waterproof rain jackets
DUNNES. We meet again.
We’ve all done it. And we never learn.
5. Piss, everywhere
On day one, it’s just the boys.
On day three, even the local schoolchildren join in.
6. Genitalia
So, so many nude humans.
Why are there so many nude humans?
7. A mankini
Every. Single. Time.
8. Babies in prams
Oh God.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BABIES?
9. Everyone you’ve ever known
#Ireland
10. Fist pumping like it’s 1999
The dance move that never goes out of style.
Even when you haven’t washed in three days.
11. Questionable leftovers on day three
Is it a granola bar? Is it a loo roll?
Who knows.
12. Mildly overpriced meals
6 chips for only €18?! Sold!
13. The shorts and wellies combo of death*
*Death via hyperthermia.
Followed swiftly by the tin-foil cloak of sanctuary.
Photo cred: www.aliexpress.com
14. And finally, Complete disregard of chronic downpour
”Sure it’s only a bit of rain, don’t we all need a wash anyway”
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