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20th Dec 2016

14 Things You’ll Recognise If You’ve Been To An Irish Festival

katedemolder

Hands up if you’ve been one of the thousands of us who have survived the miserable depths of Irish festivals?

Yep, us too.

It takes a special kind of person (not necessarily a compliment) to be able to hit the Earth’s core via mud and wellies and still be able to crack on with the long day ahead. But there’s a few things that Irish festivals all have in common…

We’re a silly bunch, us.

1. Muck

Let’s get the obvious out of the way, shall we?

And furthermore…

Muck

2. Muck-covered individuals

*MUD DOGS.

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3. Water features in tents

Nothing says Irish festival quite like a puddle, or indeed stream, trickling through the crap tent the world and its mother picked up from Dunnes. 

Tents

4. Warm, dented cans

Mmm, the taste of youth.

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5.’Trendy’, non-waterproof rain jackets

DUNNES. We meet again.

We’ve all done it. And we never learn. 

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5. Piss, everywhere

On day one, it’s just the boys.

On day three, even the local schoolchildren join in.

Piss

6. Genitalia

So, so many nude humans. 

Why are there so many nude humans?

Genitalia

7. A mankini 

Every. Single. Time.

Mankini

8. Babies in prams

Oh God.

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BABIES?

Baby

9. Everyone you’ve ever known

#Ireland

Everyone

10. Fist pumping like it’s 1999

The dance move that never goes out of style.

Even when you haven’t washed in three days.

Fist Pump

11. Questionable leftovers on day three

Is it a granola bar? Is it a loo roll? 

Who knows.

200

12. Mildly overpriced meals

6 chips for only €18?! Sold!

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13. The shorts and wellies combo of death*

*Death via hyperthermia.

Followed swiftly by the tin-foil cloak of sanctuary.

High Quality 10 Pcs Waterproof Emergency Blanket Survival Blanket Rescue Space Foil Thermal Insulation Blanket First Aid

Photo cred: www.aliexpress.com

14. And finally, Complete disregard of chronic downpour

”Sure it’s only a bit of rain, don’t we all need a wash anyway”

Disregard

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