17 Things You'll Recognise When You're An Irish Person Living Abroad
Including useless vocabulary, potato problems, and the lure of the Irish pub
We Irish are a nomadic breed.
Thousands of our people have spread their wings and are now living abroad, and all those folks share some very specific experiences.
Feast your peepers on the 17 things you'll recognise when you're an Irish person living abroad.
1. Potatoes are constantly mentioned around you
Spud jokes become part of your daily life, you must accept this and move on.
2. Much of your vocabulary becomes useless
You come to realise how many of your words are uniquely Irish, so you're greeted by heads tilted in confusion whenever you ask which press the sliced pan is in.
3. Good craic is hard to find
You find that the banter levels of other nations just don't meet the Irish standard. Sarcasm simply sails over their heads. You're expected to use sincerity muscles you never even knew you had.
4. The lure of the Irish pub
You swore you wouldn't be that kind of person, but despite your very best efforts to resist you find yourself drawn towards Irish pubs. You've now become a cliché.
5. Irish comfort zone
You find yourself actively seeking out other Irish people. In fact, your friend standards become so low that your only requirement is that they be Irish.
6. You're not built for this foreign lark
You discover your poor Irish body is not physically suited to any climate other than cloudy, wet, and cold.
7. Mistaken for English
If one more person calls you English, you're gonna lose your shit.
8. You miss good tea
Your life becomes a Barry's Tea ad from the ‘90s.
9. Romancing with the Irish language
Prospective conquests will often demand that you speak to them in 'Gaelic', so rather than embarrassing yourself by admitting you failed pass Irish, you go ahead and make something up.
10. Complimented on your English skills
People compliment you on your command of the English language, it's amazing how you speak it so well, and their stupidity really takes your breath away.
11. Your name is unpronounceable
No one in this foreign land seems to be able to pronounce your monstrosity of a name, at least three attempts are needed before anyone gets it. It also makes placing an order at Starbucks a complete nightmare.
12. You need elocution lessons
You have to speak as slowly and as clearly as physically possible because no one can understand your thick accent (and here you thought you never had an accent).
13. You're very aware of your use of words with 'th' in them
You practice your 'thirty-three and a third' on a bidaily basis, in conjunction with your various other vocal warm-up techniques.
14. People assume all the Irish know each other
And you're gutted when it turns out you actually do know the person they're talking about.
15. People do impressions of you
You laugh, but inside you die a little.
16. Alcohol issues
Man oh man, the whole 'Irish people are drunks' shtick never seems to get old, does it?
17. Gotta give 'em what they want
However, due to peer pressure on an international scale, you feel an obligation to live up to expectations.