19 Things That Will Make Every Irish Person Foam At The Mouth With Rage
Apart from atrocious referees, of course
It's funny, for a nation that has been dubbed time and again as 'the friendliest bunch of people you'll ever meet', we can sure be a shower of cranks if you catch us at the wrong time.
And even though we'll smile and nod all day long, inside we're boiling due to the sheer toughness of being so bloody polite. It doesn't help when life decides it's not rooting for you that day.
Here are some of the worst offenders...
1. The UK claiming Irish celebrities as their own
Taking our women.
2. Hard butter on soft bread
Is there no END to this torture?
3. Shit rain
That wispy rain that doesn't really warrant a coat but at the same time definitely does. If you're going to rain - fucking RAIN.
4. And while we're on the topic – flimsy umbrellas
You had one job.
5. Bar staff clearing our drinks before we're done
'THERE'S STILL A FULL GULP IN THAT!'
6. When the bartender announces last orders at 11:29pm
7. Gerard Butler's accent in PS I Love You
Don't get us started.
8. Any mention of any RTÉ presenter ever
Look at them there. Thinking they're great.
Especially this fella...
9. The unmerciful rush to stuff your groceries into shopping bags at the counter at Aldi and Lidl
Met with the disgruntled look of the cashier who will never, ever accept that you're going as quickly as you can.
10. American tourists on Paddy's Day
Ugh. Just... get out of the way, like.
11. Leaving teabags in the sink
They look too much like little ball-sacks for it to be okay.
12. The ironing board outside P Macs
Just tell me what purpose it is serving.
Then I will be quiet.
13. The roars from The Viking Splash Tour
Shut up you bloody twits, I'm clearly not a fucking Norman.
14. Slow walkers on College Green
No please, walk slower and block the whole way.
15. Charity workers in town trying to make eye contact
Surely they can't see through sunglasses, right?
16. Dublin bus timetables
May as well be chemical fucking equations.
17. When someone has taken your Dublin Bike spot
How very dare they.
18. Lunch queues
Either get out at 12:30 or wait until 2pm, or may God have mercy on your soul.
19. And finally, seagulls that are no longer scared of humans
They'd be manageable if they weren't the size of a small cow.